Tex Shelters here, and I want to address the most important issue facing Americans. I am not talking about the war on Christmas that happens every summer when stores sell things like bathing suits, sunscreen and beach towels and completely ignores the blessed birth of Christ in the winter. No, I am talking about Obama’s status as a human on this planet.
The Donald, Mr. Trump, has clearly proven that Obama has no birth certificate, or at least he’s proved that making things up about the Dread Socialist Obama is a way to motivate the Republican base to support your possible run for the Republican nomination for President. (link to poll)
Conservative comedian Nick DiPaolo, who hates the made up term birther but loves the made up term Obamacare, even questioned Obama’s education by asking for someone who went to law school with Obama to come forward and prove the President attended school. (Click here to see the paranoid DiPaolo’s “comedy”.)
I hope that Mr. DiPaolo runs for president too since he is as wise and logical as The Donald, and he’s so edgy and confident in his stereotyping of those he disagrees with like other great Americans from Coulter, to Ayn Rand, to Limbaugh and Savage. Thus, I throw my hat into the ring of possible potential presidential candidates if everything goes my way as well. And I also demand proof of things from Obama.
First, I want to see a copy of Obama’s physical examinations to prove that he is human. The Constitution clearly states that you must be a human to be president, and I have yet to see proof that Obama is. Why won’t any of Obama’s supposed doctors come forward? Perhaps he’s not really a human?
Why hasn’t Michelle Obama come forward with proof Obama is really a man. How do we know that Obama didn’t have a sex change and was really a woman? What proof do we really have? Until I see a photo of Obama’s penis, I can’t believe Obama’s a man. Why won’t Obama come forward with his penis?
How do we know that Obama isn’t a mixture of alien and human DNA? Where are the tests that prove Obama’s DNA is fully human and not mixed in with the DNA from the 1947 alien autopsy in Roswell New Mexico? We won’t know until a full analysis of Obama’s DNA is completed.
Obama may be a hologram. How do we really know he’s not a projection from a science project Soviet Madman Stalin started in the 1950s and his projection is here to destroy us all? Until we get directors Michael Bay and James Cameron to investigate this possible special effect, we have no proof Obama’s NOT a hologram. Maybe the Trilateral Commission created this Holobamagram, or the Bilderberg Group.
Certainly we know that Obama went to a radical communist fascist black power Christian church for years, but is he really a Christian? Until Jesus Christ comes back and tells us that Obama is a Christian, we will never really know. Why won’t Jesus Christ come forward with the proof of Obama’s Christianity?
Obama could be a figment of our imagination or a mass delusion created by the fluoride in our water. There is no way to disprove this, and thus it could be true.
We need more proof about Obama, or we will keep making up things about Obama to discredit him or until it no longer haunts us to have a black president.
Tex Shelters for President, 2012, maybe.
Peace,
Tex Shelters
Whoa! Sorry about all the mis-spells, I am sleep surfing at the moment….(prepare for crash) Tex, thanks for much needed humor. It’s good to laugh at the ridiculous behavior that goes on in our political systrem instead of getting mad, as I generally do. I would like to see more action from said President Obama, something to balance the idiocy of the last alien mishap that was placed in office. ;-)
oh, you Earthers.
Well Mr. Shelters, you got your wish. They released his birth certificate. But, really, you didn’t get your wish. Well if you ask me why then I guess you haven’t seen or just took an educated look at it.(Not saying your uneducated) I can’t believe the government expects us to believe this piece of garbage! It’s an obvious fake certificate. And this new Osama Bin Laden death story is just to get the American people’s mind off of the subject of his birth. And I say new since Fox News Already reported him dead in December of 2001.
And we all know about the TRUE FACTS that you find on FOX NEWS. And I am sure you know exactly what a 1959 Hawaiian birth certificate is supposed to look like,since you seem to be an authority on all things birther. Quick, tell me what my birth certificate looks like. I’ll wait. I’m sure the Bin Laden story is just a fake, and Donald Trump is in an undisclosed location gathering evidence on the REAL Osama Bin Laden, probably sharing a hookah somewhere actually, and he will be announcing new developments very, very soon. Meanwhile, you should go back to your bunker on Planet Paranoid and wait for Glenn Beck to send you a secret message through your tinfoil helmet. Obama 2012
Ha ha. Pretty funny. Why in 1961 would they fake a black boys (socially black, at least) birth certificate just to get one over on us, unless they had alien assistance that is.
Peace,
Tex Shelters
Lol, I love the article!!
if he is a figment of my imagination, I will be suing my doctors Monday, thank you very much
Hilarious!
The constitution is a living document that the right wing conservatives killed long ago. Insanity is repeating the same thing and expecting different results which is what honestly both the left and right wing does. we need a total system overhaul it may be a radical thought but if it doesnt work fix it and out government does not work
Every ten years or so, some nations re-work their constitutions and review it. Perhaps we can do it every 200 years or so?
Peace,
Tex Shelters
Here, if color is any indicator, let’s discuss Boner’s un-natural Orange tinge.
Definitely an alien experiment gone bad Tony. It’s so hard getting those human color correct.
Peace,
Tex Shelters
I’m convinced Obama is not human, but actually a scientific experiment created by mysterious alien scientists and placed on earth as President to control the most powerful country on the planet.
Bush was their first experiment that went incredibly wrong because they didn’t realize humans are supposed to have a brain.
Who knows, mabey he’s curious george and he’s going to abduct all of us back to our childhood when the bigest drama was when somebody stole our crayons. LOL
Anyone else notice that the shop in that pic makes him look distinctly look like he’s from planet Namek?
I want proof that Obama isn’t from Dragon Ball Z! Until Akira Toriyama comes forward and confirms he isn’t, I’ll have to assume he is!
If Obama is from Namek, then he may be aible to make Dragon Balls! If he can indeed make dragon balls I’d hunt them down to wish the Teabaggers to either disappear or become capable of rational thought… I’m leaning to the former as it would help the overpopulation problems the world is facing.
Ha ha. Dragon ball. I hadn’t thought of that. Or perhaps Obama’s a Death Eater?
Peace,
Tex Shelters
Or a Vulcan, for that matter.
Come on. Tell me he doesn’t look just a little like Tuvok.
Thin, tall, smart, color cafe,
Yep, he’s a cousin of Tuvak. I need to see his Federation documents now!
Peace,
Tex Shelters
Show me one comment in the Constitution that the President has to be human OR that the President has to be Christian.
This is not a humorous article; it’s a travesty, which I do not find amusing.
LiteKeeper,
Okay, but WHY is it a travesty? Just saying this is a travesty doesn’t explain where you are coming from or why you feel that way. Did you not state why because you can’t explain your humorless, semi-literate, reactionary position?
Either you are a humorless Democrat/Obama supporter, a Birther who is embarrassed as I mock them, or someone who is unable to see irony (or all of the above?).
When I said the Constitution states you have to be human (or be Christian) to be president, and it was written in the Constitution, I was mocking the right-wing that will say anything about the Constitution to defend their position, even if it’s completely made up. What’s sad really is that you were unable to grasp that. For now I will assume you are a knee-jerk liberal with no sense of humor or independent thought. My apologies to the clear thinking liberals who I consider allies and have a sense of humor.
Peace,
Tex Shelters
I would like to add that when I piss off reactionary liberals with my mocking of the uber right, I feel I have done a good job with my satire. Thanks!
Peace,
Tex Shelters
Obama is half African therefore he is African American…black…a negro
–but great article, i want proof too and as a white God Loving American Citizen I feel that we deserve to know these answers!!!!
Tex, you are a funny guy..it isn’t funny how power groapers through anything out there like throwing a bone to a dog to get our attention off of the IMPORTANT issues, like the elimination of the middle class, why aren’t those responcible for this nations economic downfall held responcible, why are we paying the filthy rich oil companies $$$$$$$ for nothing? Well, the list goes on. @ angry white guy..grow up and get some intelligence.
AWESOME!!!
Wait – where DOES it say in the Constitution that the President has to be human? Do we need an amendment stating as such? Or, seeing that the average border collie has a higher IQ than some recent Presidents, perhaps we should leave well enough alone.
Miriam,
You noticed, thanks. Ha ha ha!
Peace,
Tex Shelters
As for the Constitution, why not ask Obama himself. After all, he has been a professor of Constitution Law.
Why does everyone keep calling President Obama black.?
He is of mixed race- with a white mother and black father.
True. But it’s from the old 1% social definition of what black is. But he is mixed all right.
Peace,
Tex Shelters
You are correct. If you are even 1% black, they refer to you as black.
see: Homer Plessy
nice