Image from http://conservationreport.com/2010/08/28/politics-republicans-only-defend-certain-portions-of-the-u-s-constitution/
We the people of the United Tea Party and GOP States of America, in order to control a more Christian union, establish Southern Justice, ensure Domestic Sovereignty, Provide for the World’s Defense, Promote the Elitist’s Welfare, and Secure God’s Blessings of Liberty for only Ourselves and our Posterity, do Ordain and Establish this Constitution for the United Tea Party and GOP States of America.
… actual text of constitution is the same since we don’t really understand it …
The Bill of the Right:
1st Amendment: Thou shalt not tread on me (aka Freedom to Force Religion Down Atheists Throats)
2nd Amendment: We can shoot anything without thumbs (aka Know the Nuge)
3rd Amendemnt: Ooh Rah Ooh Rah Fear US Guns Boom Boom Run Away (aka A Bomb Only Cost Us A Quarter)
4th Amendment – Stay off my land, don’t you see my gun? (aka That is Not Kiddie Porn on My PC)
5th Amendment – I never said that, it was my twin, oh no you didn’t! (aka Oh It’s On Tape, My Bad)
6th Amendment – We shall have drive through courts equipped with ATM machines (aka Unless You Were Smoking Pot, then Instant Conviction)
7th Amendment – All juries should be Christian since they are the only ones with a conscience (aka Jews Are Cool Too, I Guess)
8th Amendment – All punishment will match the crime, unless it is done by a government official, diplomat, policeman, agent, spy, or anyone else living off tax payers money (aka If They Are Black, Latino, Asian, Indian, or non-American, Then Death By Beating for Jaywalking is Acceptable)
9th Amendment – Blah blah blah all numbers equal the same number blah blah blah (aka Math and Counting Is Difficult so Who Cares)
10th Amendment – States get to make their own laws; nani nani boo boo there is nothing you can do about it in Washington ha HAH! (aka Unless It Is Against God or Has Anything to do with Smoking Pot)
11th 12th 13th 14th blah blah blah the rest are just suggestions, not really laws, you don’t have to follow them if you have a better idea, go for it
28th Amendment – All words of the forefathers of America are holy scripture; all of which can be interpreted to mean what we want them to mean (aka All Forefathers Were Baptist Christians Who Dreamed of a Theocracy in America) [ratified November 5th, 2010]
It is funny, but basically, this is what I believe in.
Not really that funny. the ultracons are doing it (their way) as I write. But still wity, though.
Sean Hannity is a shill for the right, who I don’t like watching. but a heck of a lot more talented than this article’s author.
The way we as a country lose is when the good people are manipulated into fighting amongst themselves when they actually agree on something. I have been a progressive for as long as I can remember and even during the Vietnam war/Watergate scandal do I remember the rhetoric being this hateful. For those who feel the government is not doing enough to help those who have been thrown under the bus by the fat cats, their voice is constantly drowned out by media and minions who instantly accuse them of being un-American and only being tax-and-spend socialists. For those who feel the government is doing too much, their message is being sidetracked by pundits and their ilk who have hijacked that idea and have made it a rallying cry that has touches of racism, homophobia, sexism and general disdain for those who seek a dialogue free of the hate. Both sides deserve a hearing but they both need to LISTEN.
Stop blaming other people for your problems. Take control of your own life and take responsibility. Blaming one party or the other will get us nowhere. We are still the land of opportunity and the best country in the world.
Good point. Self-reliance is a great starting point.
Jack, if we ever meet, I will gladly buy you a drink. Spot on.
Zero humor. And, quite frankly, this is as “hateful” as you claim the right to be, Mr. Rainsberger. Shame on you so-called “progressives” for trying to pass this off as tolerance and enlightenment. This does nothing but add fuel to the bonfire of hatred. Well done.
And before you start calling me the hateful “regressive”, I want you all to know that I hate BOTH political parties. With a passion. I can’t wait until the moderates of this country wake up and send all of your false idols packing. Until then, have fun with your cheap shots.
I have not been on this site for a while. You know the old saying arguing with idiots. Well, there is some truth to that statement. The article in question was “You might be a Tea Bagger if”.. Well, anyway I used the same rhetoric on the author that he used in the article and called humor, and I challenged most of his points. He then told me I was wrong in every one of them. I replied and asked to explain, he responded with more insults. A simple Saul Alinsky tactic, appeal to the mob, insult do not answer. This site seems to have mental midgets in charge. The country is going through a rough spot, let’s look for solutions not insults, let’s see if the progressives are really up to that, or if they respond to my “mean statements”.
As an independent, I can usually see humor in posts such as this. However this post has no humor, and is only someone’s idea of what they think the conservatives believe. Neither the left or the right have any solutions, and the only thing either side does is hurl insults at the opposition. No wonder we’re in such a mess.
Agree with you, Jack. It’s pretty pointless, whether it’s done by either right or left. Each side thinks that indulging in malignant stereotyping is just “telling the truth”. But I do think that a debate on the issues, based on facts, history, and logic tend to favor the liberal/left view of what’s best for the country, but maybe that’s just me.
I think you guys would like the video I have posted on my channel. :) Please leave comments, and subscribe. I assure you I am not wasting your time, especially around 5:20 in the video.
http://www.youtube.com/users/FromOneMany
Actually the Progressive Caucus has a brilliant plan.
What is it?
Love it!!! So very true!!!
Because it would be untrue if it were about a progressive democrat. :-) As it’s written, it’s scarily and sadly 100% accurate.
When you make a statement, quantify it, otherwise your statement is seen as blather.
I’m not impressed by this post. If it were related to anything specific said or written by someone in the GOP or Tea Party – even if the individual lines were linked to something specific – I would find it more interesting.
It seems a rather sophomoric attempt.
Funny how if this was about a democrat, liberal,leftwing, socialist… there would be about a million comments bashing the author.
If the best you can do is try to reverse the roles, maybe you should troll in another thread. This is for humans only…
The Dems are bad enough (and both ‘sides’ ARE all on the same side) but the GOP has NO shame, no ethics, NO morals, NO regard for truth, justice OR the ‘American Way’ – another fiction – simply unrestrained greed and corruption. If the fascists win in 2012, it’s war…
BTW, I am NOT a progressive Democrat – I am extremely pissed-off semi-independent (I would vote for a Republican if one EVER had anything useful to say, but in 50 years of voting, this has never occurred.) I am watching the Fascist movement taking over what once was a great nation, with the whiners doing nothing and the smirking chimp brigade gloating.
WAKE UP, wimpy, ass-kissing ‘go along, get along’ Dems. You are being marginalized even as I type this. The wolf is at your door and all you are doing is inviting him in for snacks. And guess who is the main course?
I think there is a lot to be upset about these days, but where do you start? I look at my union leadership lose it when my state wants to cut my benefits. I don’t like it either, but both parties will cut my benefits. Neither party is looking out for you, just staying in power. Now, using simple economics, you need to realize than when jobs leave the state, so does your tax base, so fiscal reality needs to set in. 2nd Amendment, you are getting up there as I am, you notice the states have not even started talikng about there share of the Medicare bill that the states are accountable for. How much do you think this is impacting your schools and other state and local services so our generation can keep getting our medical benefits. I don’t like my benefits being cut or watching my friends with less seniority losing their jobs, but there is just so much money out there, that is the reality.
If you want to read/hear something similar about liberals, democrats, left wingers – you should have been following Beck, Lumbaugh, Shock Jocks, and many others. This kind of bashing is the right wing stock in trade. It’s been going on for a long time.
Left-wing Socialist is a tautology, moron.
“Left-wing Socialist is a tautology, moron”
Only in America, moron. In much of the civilized world, socialism is a political and economic system with adherents who range from conservative to liberal.
Explain what a conservative Socialist is please. Are you talking about someone who goes to church, but believes the state has the answer to man’s problems?
Well the reason you don’t is that most of the “ignorant” right-wingers are too busy to read this tripe. Look at the impuning of the mentality of the average conservative that the author uses. This clearly shows his bias, bias mind you that if a right-winger displayed he would be labelled as intolerant.
I like how Thomas, in his defence of the literacy of right wingers, manages to misspell “impugning”.
Typical, insult rather than respond intelligently. People make typos all the time in blogs.