I Would Like to Vote for a Republican, BUT!!!

I would like to vote Republican in 2012, but it’s hard to walk into a conservative bar and pick out the best drunk, and that’s essentially what you would be forced to do judging from the cookie cutter candidates I saw during this Republican debate in New Hampshire, which was held tonight on June 13th of 2011, and after spending my valueless time listening to these conservative, GOP cheerleaders, and that’s exactly what I witnessed during the debate—a group of cheerleaders who, for all intents and purposes, could have gotten up and chanted ‘Give me a G! Give me an O! Give me a P! What do you have—nothing!’

The entire exchange reminded me of a “Kiss-the-ring-ceremony,” where all of the conservative King’s horses and all of the conservative King’s men couldn’t put the conservative’s “American Dream” back together again!

No matter how many times I hear it or how many times I see it, I just, for the life of me; cannot figure out why Republican after Republican after Republican will continually and consistently bow down to a big, fat, greedy, corporate, dishonest, elitist, hypocritical, dictating, GOP elephant that is as stubbornly redundant and narrow-mindedly shortsighted as any ideological bully could ever hope to be. Leaders don’t run in packs or get run by packs. Leaders lead the pack, and I’ve yet to see any GOP candidate who could lead conservative termites to free wood!

In a Republican debate featuring Tim “The Whim” Pawlenty, Rick “The Shyster” Santorum, Herman “Thin Crust” Cain, Michele “The White Male’s” Bachmann, Ron “Jump-the-Gun” Paul, Newt “I’ll Nickel and Dime You ” Gingrich, and Mitt “Not My Romneycare” Romney, I didn’t hear any of these conservative knights in shining armor even attempt to do the one thing that I firmly believe somebody in the conservative camp should inevitably do, which would be to finally stand firm and buck the GOP system for crying out loud! When will there ever be a Republican/conservative who will give the American people their own personalized/customized vision of America’s future under their watch. All that I keep seeing over and over again is the conservative rush to appease the status quo of the party line, and the candidate/chameleon that can best blend into the party foliage is declared the winner, and I’m simply not impressed.

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Believe it or not, the lion’s share of concern that seemed to be shared by all of them concerning the most daunting obstacle facing the country was the ominous, doomsday specter of Obamacare. Yes, you heard it correctly—Obamacare! According to the narrative laid out in this conservative brouhaha, it’s not the Wall St. crooks, the Goldman Sacs shysters, or the big, penny-pinching banks that the American people need to be concerned about. That concern, according to the heroes of the average conservative, belongs head-on to the job killing evils of the dreaded, soon-to-be-repealed Obamacare. It is the silver bullet in the conservative gun that will slay the progressive vampire and kill the liberal werewolf, while the Koch Bros. dress up like Little Red Robbing Hood and skip off into the outsourcing sunset with the Bush tax cuts! Now, if I truly believed that repealing Obamacare would be the avowed waving of the magic wand in regards to America’s problems, then I would help the fear mongers repeal it, but I have enough sense to know and remember that the country was in the toilet before there was an Obamacare, so repealing it would be the problem solving equivalent of throwing a rock at Godzilla, so why bother! In the end, it’s the same, old, dog and pony show. If you don’t have a conservative vision, just create a liberal bogeyman.

As for some of the most pathetically memorable moments of the debate, I thought Herman Cain and Newt Gingrich looked like two fools from the same stool, as they expressed their fear mongered concerns over the coming invasion of Sharia Law and Muslim Americans possibly serving as double agents. Tim Pawlenty really left a lame image in my ideological view as he incessantly kept begging the conservative brand to look at how many conservative Minnesota Supreme Court Justices he appointed, as he happily and frequently made the claim of how he was the most conservative on the stage. Rick Santorum wasted quality air time harping on his support for a constitutional amendment to preserve the sanctity of marriage between a man and a woman and openly admitted that he believed that “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” should not have been overturned, as he would consider returning it back to where it was, in true, conservative, knuckle-dragging, Neanderthal fashion!

Now as for the candidates who I actually believe helped their cause, and you’re not going to believe this, but one of them was Michele Bachmann. Yes, I said Bachmann! Transitioning away from many of her Tea Party favorites, Bachmann appeared to be toning down her Tea talking points in a political move to broaden her base among Republicans, with a shot-in-the-dark reach at shillyshallying Independents, which is something that Sarah Palin has failed to do, either purposely or willingly. So apparently, Bachmann is the one who’s really going to run and not Palin. Ron Paul scored huge points by calling for an end to all of the wars and a scaling back of the American empire abroad, which is the one thing that Paul has actually made sense on. But when all of the smoke cleared, Mitt Romney still stands in a class by himself, with his other rivals all playing from behind in his political dust. Even with the Romneycare albatross around his neck, he still sounded like the undisputed frontrunner to me.

The overall message was more of the same, too much taxation, too much government spending, too much government borrowing, too many entitlement programs, too many wars under a Democratic watch, the federal government sucks, but the states are great, and the most important message, which will apparently be the Republican referendum on the Obama presidency is, again, the repeal of Obamacare. I would like to vote for a Republican in 2012. Well actually, no I wouldn’t, because out of all of the hurdles in my path to success; Republicans have yet to make me see how the repeal of Obamacare will turn corrupted, corporate greed into the true essence of a real, entrepreneurial, American based, jobs initiative, and until they do—repealing Obamacare is just another anti-liberal Blair Witch Project!

Bryian K. Revoner

Author of the book The Fear of Being Challenged: Democratically Independent; I Am the Realacrat