Republicans rarely mean what they say.
Image from Neil Obermeyer / Lincoln Journal Star
Here’s a translation guide in case you don’t speak Republican:
What Republicans Say: |
What Republicans Mean: |
| We believe in building a more prosperous America and in the concept of trickle-down economics. | We believe in allowing the richest 1% of Americans to manipulate the tax code and judicial rulings in their favor so that they can grow wealthier.
We know increased profits don’t lead to job creation, but our attitude is “So What! Survival of the Fittest.” |
| Corporations are people. | While this is obviously a false statement (it’s like saying trees are birds), shielding corporations with Constitutional rights granted to people lets them hide in the shadows while they game the system – and buy elections. |
| I will do everything within my power to make Barack Obama a one-term president. | It’s really getting to be a drag the way Obama is trying to protect the middle class from steep cuts to health programs and education. It’s us or them.
We need to make entitlement cuts in order to keep the Bush-era tax cuts for the wealthiest 1% (which, through next year, will have cost the nation more than double the sum of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.) It will be much easier to eliminate Medicare and preserve tax breaks for the rich with a Republican in the White House. |
| Raising the debt ceiling is irresponsible fiscal policy and it writes Obama a blank check. | The best way to gut social services and cut big government off at the knees is by triggering a default – or at least taking it hostage. The money will run out and the cuts will come.
Moreover, some voters will be easily fooled into blaming the credit downgrade on the sitting President – and not the GOP no-compromise brinksmanship which actually caused it.Congress has to approve spending allocations so there’s no “blank check” (Listen up, Bachmann.) But since wiser lawmakers did vote to raise the debt limit in August, we’re stuck paying on our existing debt, funding departments like the FDA, and mailing Social Security and veterans’ checks – at least for the time being. |
| We want to preserve Medicare for future generations. | We want to ensure that the wealthy and their heirs can benefit from more tax breaks, now and in future generations.To adjust for decreased revenue we’ll have to cut government spending, so we’ll pick-pocket from seniors’ Medicare benefits to make our cushy financial cushion.
We’ll start by giving seniors a $6,000 voucher to buy private insurance, which is enough to cover the yearly premium for a healthy 40-year-old in 2011, and then eventually wean them offthat crutch. |
| We will not accept any tax hikes on job creators or the American People – for any reason. | All high-income earners are automatically job creators, it doesn’t matter if the companies they own are cutting jobs as profits increase, or if they’re outsourcing jobs rather than employing Americans.
Let’s pretend that the statutory tax rate is what corporations pay and ignore that our effective corporate tax rate (25.2% in 2004 before stimulus cuts) is lower than corporate rates in countries like Germany, Canada, India, China, Brazil, Japan and Italy. As long as we focus on the “job creator” talking point, most of America won’t check our math – or call our bluff that tax reform will cause more businesses to move abroad. |
| Obama’s idea of a balanced budget will bankrupt America. | The Republican idea of balance is when the rich and powerful pursue a life of luxury while their employees labor for stagnant wages and decreasing benefits.
The rich of this nation shall not continue to open their pocketbooks to help fund programs like nutrition assistance for low-income women and children, children’s health insurance programs, Medicaid, Medicare, public schools, and health and retirement benefits for public workers.We can just cut that stuff. It’s not important. |
| Democrats are trying to corrupt our fair election process. Voter fraud is rampant and we must enact restrictive voting laws to stop Democrats from stealing the election. | We heard that an analysis of all 250 claims of voter fraud alleged in the SCOTUS photo ID case (Crawford v. Marion County Election Board) found absolutely no proven cases of fraudulent votes that could be prevented by restrictive ID laws. (Meanwhile, no one’s paying attention to the proof that we stole the 2004 election.)
We’re coordinating a Jim Crow-type voter suppression effort to disenfranchise youth, elderly, disabled and minority voters. We hope to achieve a drop-off in legitimate Democratic voters that will add 3% to the Republican vote. While unethical, voter ID laws will help us to beat tight spreads in precinct after precinct on election night. |
| Gay people receiving the same recognition, protection and benefits as you and your spouse threatens your marriage – and endangers your children. | What other people do in their relationship doesn’t impact your own relationship, and openly gay adults won’t turn your children gay if they weren’t already born gay.
But since being gay is openly stigmatized (like being black once was) we use anti-gay rhetoric to rally the conservative base. The longer Republican voters are ignorant of the fact that being gay is okay, the more often they’ll vote Republicans at the polls. |
| Obama is the reason unemployment is surging above 9%. | We’re driving job losses in the public sector with GOP-backed budget cuts on federal and state levels. Meanwhile, the private sector is slowly but consistently adding jobs, more than 2 million in the past two years.
Also, we don’t regret that 2.4 million American jobs were outsourced from 1999-2009. Cheap labor is a big profit-booster.All that being said, blaming Obama for a weak jobs recovery is our best strategy for defeating him. |
| I am the most pro-life candidate. | This is us rallying around another conservative flagpole that paradoxically takes a big-government, heavy-handed approach to personal family issues.
If I describe myself as the “most pro-life candidate” (like Rick Santorum or Tim Pawlenty), I want to ban abortion even in cases of child rape and incest. |
| I am against a government take over of health care and against death panels. | The government shouldn’t advocate for consumers with health insurance companies or help keep premium costs low – those interventions restrain health industry profits.
I don’t believe health care is a right – it is a privilege for those who can afford it. I use false premises like “death panels” to manipulate people into voting the way I want. |
| Anything not listed above | Vote for me on election day. If you’re too slow to figure out I’m lying to you, screw you. Survival of the fittest. |
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Image from Neil Obermeyer / Lincoln Journal Star
So we need a tax rate more in line with established socialistic and left wing countries? I suppose one way to stop outsourcing is to nationalize industries or simply confiscate the earnings of those who work to provide for those not working. Have any of you ever had a job? Being a community organizer, advocate or demonstrator doesn’t count as work. Grant writer may qualify minimally, but just barely. I pay more in taxes than you earn, but I am certain I owe you those monies. The fact I served my country, attended college and applied myself while making good choices has no bearing. The crux of the issue is shown by Buffett. He claims millionaires should pay more taxes. He is a current BILLIONAIRE & is free to donate his entire fortune and all future earnings to the government, charity or whatever. But instead of making a choice & taking action, he prefers to coerce others to give to what he feels needs funding. But people who feel entitled never like to acknowledge their lot may rest more on poor choices than any other aspect!
You think your good choices give you the right to pay a lower tax rate than your Housekeeper? You think your better than her? Your free to pay her a hell of a lot more than you do but you don’t and won’t pay one cent more than you have to. You think I’m making ass-umptions? So are you.
Hi Jack. Got some bad news for you. Those “socialistic” “left-wing” countries generally have higher standards of living than the US, and higher satisfaction of life among their citizens. This is a demonstrable fact. Even nations like Russia have some advantages over the US for working class people, such as paid maternity leave, vacation, and free medical care. On the other hand, Russia has less government regulation than the US, and a super-low flat tax(most corporations and rich folks don’t pay taxes anyway), all of which outweigh those benefits.
In other news, you might be surprised that most leftists ARE working class people, many of whom work far harder than you I would bet. I know I have.
As for outsourcing, I have some more bad news for you. There is no tax cut that is going to make US corporations bring jobs back to the US. If you believe this, you have a fundamental lack of understanding regarding basic economic principles. In fact, US tax rates right now are among the lowest in history, and the second lowest in the industrialized world(they may be higher only than Russia’s, which is a 13% flat tax). Probably worse, no tax cut is going to make you rich. I’m very sorry.
As for Warren Buffet, I’d prefer folks like him to be taxed at say, 100%, as he produces nothing(just like the rest of the richest people). That being said, Buffet never said he should be exempt from taxes, he said that people like him should expect to pay more in taxes.
Lastly, folks like you should be the last people to use words like “entitled”. You have the typical sense of entitlement which conservatives typically display, where you suspect that those less fortunate than you are responsible for their own plight. That’s why it’s always hilarious when people like you get hit by economic downturns like this, and then you don’t know what to do. You fell for the myth of the meritocracy. One’s choices are limited by one’s material conditions. Sure, we love rags to riches stories, or stories about some youth who makes it out of the ghetto, but we notice those stories because deep down we know that not everyone can beat the odds. If ever young person living in poverty insisted on following their dreams, the system wouldn’t work. That’s the thing about capitalism- for a few to win, many must lose.
I can guarantee you all that Jack Rabbet a) did not serve his country, or b) pays more in taxes than you make.
There are spelling, syntax and factual errors in the above screed. I dare say the man has never left the country, never been to Scandinavia (one of those Socialist, Left Wing countries) and most likely lives in someone’s basement.
Signed: A former Marine who has been to left wing countries and knows for a FACT that they enjoy their economic system far more than we do, and that those left wing countries would NEVER ask for or demand the economic system we have in the US.
Interesting… I would be very interested in seeing how Ron Paul matches up to this list.
This should be mandatory reading by all Obama and liberal haters.
Assuming they CAN read
Before the 2000 and 2004 elections I continually reminded friends and fellow Democrats to vote Democratic regardless of who our candidate is for the simple reason that the Supreme Court could fall into the hands of the conservatives, and look what happened when W got his hands on the appointment process. It becomes even more urgent now to keep Barack in the White House, because he at least does a good job of appointing liberal judges. How sweet it would be if he gets to appoint two more. Oh joy! And I don’t want to even think about what the alternative would produce.
One thing you forgot to put in the translated column is that the President is black. That’s what driving a lot of the right’s hatred of the President. They wrap it up in pretty speech and code words, but the fact is that the right is so racist that they cannot stand the idea of a black man as President.
Don’t you just wish they would stop all the bullshit and cut to the chase? THEY ARE PREJUDICED.END OF SUBJECT.IDIOTS,THE WHOLE LOT OF THEM!!!
You hit it on the nose.
Got that right. They are determined that this black man, this black president, not succeed. Harkens back to post Civil War Reconstruction when the former Confederate states pushed for “states-rights” during the less well known (and never taught in schools) Redemption period. End result: Separate but (hardly) Equal Jim Crow Laws and “Slavery by Another Name” (see the book of the same name By Douglas Blackmon).
Absolute crap. Their current front runner is Herman Cain. Don’t make liberals look stupid by twisting things around and trying to make this into something it’s not…
Great column ! Excellent replies, particularly Johnny in Honolulu’s, Iolanthe’s and T’s ! Gives one a sense of hope (well at least a little tingle) !
“We believe in building a more prosperous America and in the concept of trickle-down economics.” Another translation if you please— We prefer to look at the wonderful example set by Calvin Coolidge, Andrew Carnegie, and Herbert Hoover that led us into this event we know as The Great Depression. We had given the rich in this country control of 36% of our economy and even after the crash of 1929 still believed in providing cuts to the wealthy and not enacting assistance programs for the poor and unemployed until three years after. Oh, and we didn’t believe in having African Americans around during those times either.
“I will do everything within my power to make Barack Obama a one-term president.” I think you mistranslated. What a Republican really means is: “I hate uppity n*****s.”
Funny!!! : ) A handy guide to have
One suggestion to the Pro-life point:
“I’m Pro-life Republican,” that is until the baby is born, after that I’m an ANTI-LIFE Republican!
I can prove my hypocrisy because I’m against anything to help poor babies or poor children, to STAY ALIVE,…even though I claim to be Pro-Life!!!
As a Republican I say, “NO WIC or NO Medicaid, for poor, sick babies or children!!!”
As a Republican I say, “NO food-stamps, for poor, hungry babies or children!!!
As a Republican I say, “NO housing subsidies, for poor, families with babies & children!!!
Yes, even though it makes no logical sense, as a Pro-Life Republican I don’t even want to pay for the poor to get free Birth-Control, or to pay for any expense to care for or help poor babies or children to STAY ALIVE, because I’m a Pro-Life Republican who is ANTI-Life!!!
So the solution is kill the kid before it is born?
Abortion didn’t used to bother the Republican Party … not until all those self-righteous God Nuts (who are not Godly in any other ways) got ahold of your party.
You’ve all been utterly brainwashed. A fetus who is viable outside the Mom should be protected.
A fetus who isn’t? Why not let the Mom decide if her conscience can handle it? Let her be the gatekeeper. She’s the one with “skin in the game.” Nothing demoralizes a family like too many mouths to feed.
If you think abortion is terrible, is exactly equivalent to murdering a five-year-old or a twelve-year-old, then I won’t make you get one.
The insane legalism on this point is destroying this country.
(And are you aware that the drop in the crime rate correlates very well with the rise in abortions? Maybe it’s up to every individual family to decide what will overwhelm or impoverish them or spread their resources too thin. Imagine that! If you really believed in “Small Government” for one damn second, you’d agree with me.
But no. Please! Hyperventilate religiously! If you’re not willing to help some poor person raise a child she isn’t prepared to care for, try S-ing TFU.
“A fetus who isn’t? Why not let the Mom decide if her conscience can handle it?”
oh, you mean ‘survival of the fittest’? oh wait, that’s what supposedly what THEY do, not US, right?
I don’t think legal abortion by choice has much to do with Darwinian selection, so the so-called conservative hypocrites should be happy with that aspect of it…seein’s how evolution’s just a theory an’ all…the fact is, the right-wing morons consider a fetus absolutely precious, but a newborn is suddenly completely beyond their consideration. I’m scratching my head now and developing a SERIOUS bald spot…
If you really want fewer abortions, then 1) Make contraception available to all without charge, 2) Get the economy back on its feet so families can support the children they have, 3) Concentrate your efforts on preventing rape and prosecuting rapists instead of their victims, and 4) Improve ability and quality of pre-natal care. Of course, that doesn’t prevent ectopic pregnancies and fatal birth defects, but I’ll bet the numbers of abortions would go way, way down.
Sorry, 4 should read: Improve *availability* and quality of pre-natal care.
What was it George Carlin said about the Republican party platform? Pre born you’re fine, pre school you’re f^^ked?
What is worse the lying thiefs we call republicans,or nobackbone Obama?
Fascism
http://whatthefuckhasobamadonesofar.com/
No question, lying thieves are worse. And whoever is in the White House in 2012 will be appointing two new Supreme Court Justices. We already have the 5 conservative kings in there. Do you think we can really afford to have 7 out of 9? God help us all if that happens.
What we need are judges willing to side strongly with the intent the founding fathers of the United States. Now days, some of those stances could very well be seen as liberal/radical by the faux Republican elite that have come to dominate the GOP.
We need a President who will hold true to the U.S. Constitution and appoint such judges.
The lying thieves are far, far worse.
Don’t forget: the President appoints Supreme Court justices. That means I’ll vote for Obama again even if he’s no more decisive than a damn *lawn chair*. This country, especially after Citizens United (“corporations are PEOPLE!!!”) cannot survive any more RW Religious Nut Moneygrubbing Supreme Court Justices. Least objective people in the Universe.