Bachmann Claims Perry’s HPV Vaccine Makes Girls ‘Retarded’

Author: September 14, 2011 12:13 pm

Governor Rick Perry (R-TX) and Congresswoman Michele Bachmann (R-MN)

With all the media attention being given to Rick Perry and Mitt Romney, occasional human being and Republican presidential candidate, Michele Bachmann, has found her relevance in today’s tweet-of-the-moment media environment fading ever-so slightly. So, if Mrs. Bachmann  wished to remain a viable candidate in the GOP’s presidential insane (or is it inane?) clown posse, she had to match the craziness of frontrunner Rick Perry with her own special brand of hysterics.

Bachmann opened fire on Texas Gov. Rick Perry during last night’s Tea Party Republican debate on the issue of Governor Perry’s compulsory HPV vaccine bribe program.

To have innocent little 12-year-old girls be forced to have a government injection through an executive order is just wrong,” Bachmann said. “Little girls who have a negative reaction to this potentially dangerous drug don’t get a Mulligan.”

Governor “good hair” Perry, who exasperated religious conservatives in Texas in 2007 when he became the first governor in the country to order young girls to get a vaccine against a sexually transmitted virus that can cause cervical cancer, recently distanced himself from the HPV vaccine decision. Especially after facts emerged that Perry was close to one of the lobbyists of the maker of the vaccine.


Ever the science guru, Michele Bachmann recently consulted with her personal group of talking Jesus bobbleheads experts and her findings were awfully dramatic: the Gardasil vaccine is making girls mentally retarded.

It just so happens that some random lady approached Michele Bachmann immediately following last night’s debate (expert political timing, no?) and explained to Michele that the HPV vaccine made her daughter “suffer mental retardation thereafter.” No grounded medical research can refute the expert testimony of some random woman’s opinion!

In short, it looks like Sarah Palin has some competition in the department of miserably uninformed and terrifyingly unqualified pretty ladies who use special needs children as political props. I think it’s time for Michele to pop another migraine pill.

Michael is a comedian/VO artist/Columnist extraordinaire, who co-wrote an award-nominated comedy, wrote for NY Times Laugh Lines, guest-blogged for Joe Biden, and writes a column for MSNBC.com affifilated Cagle. Follow him on Twitter and Facebook

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3 Comments

  • Since HPV vaccine wasn’t around when she was young, what accounts for Bachmann being retarted?

  • In last nights debate (-snark-), she said she didn’t say it. She said the “woman” she talked to said it.
    Well, I guess that makes her innocent of any flack. In her world, yes. She just lost it last night with the crazy. She also wants no one to pay taxes, even though she said the govt would need to find ways to keep
    operating (read keep her on the payroll). Yeah, Michelle, bake sales may work. In Shangrila.

  • “Ever the science guru, Michele Bachmann recently consulted with her personal group of (talking Jesus bobbleheads) experts and her findings were awfully dramatic: the Gardasil vaccine is making girls mentally retarded.”

    How many of the damn shots did she have as a child? I’ll bet that they couldn’t keep her out of line.

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