Drill Brother Drill: Sarah Palin’s Chocolate Rice

Sarah Palin always seems to find a way to shock the public, but this time it might come back to bite her squarely in her Alaskan backside. According to reports, conservative Sarah had a one-night stand with former NBA player Glen Rice when he was a college player for the Michigan Wolverines, and she was a sports reporter. It supposedly happened when Rice’s Michigan team played in the Great Alaska Shootout in 1987. Judging by many of Sarah’s ironclad, conservative views that she so proudly cuddles up to today, it’s extremely odd to picture her cuddling up to an African-American in a copulating way. It seems that Sarah, The Thriller from Wasilla, is just full of surprises. And as odd as this story may appear; maybe it’s not that odd at all based on the hypocritical history of the American closet!

How many other conservative, white women have an African-American male buried deep in their closet? One could always ask the same question about progressive white women, but for some reason the progressive ideology just seems to be a little more accepting of this well-hidden, yet well-documented, fact of life that is still just as taboo today as it was when President Woodrow Wilson was viewing Birth of a Nation in the White House, and Jim Crow was busy slandering President Obama’s mother for dating what’s known as the n-word! Whether Sarah and Glen actually hooked up sexually may never be answered fully, but it doesn’t matter now, because the interracial cat has been tagged and is now out of the bag; able to roam freely throughout the nightmares of the Rush Limbaugh’s of the world. The question that many of us would like to know is if Sarah’s father gave her the speech when she was growing into a young woman. It’s the speech that so many young, White women get about the consequences of being too friendly with an African-American male. Basically, the speech says: ‘If you ever bring home an n-word, I’ll disown your ass, and you won’t have a family anymore. Not to mention, no White man will ever have anything to do with you again, and I will simply cut you completely out of the will or just kill you!’

Yes, the consequences of doing a Sarah and Glen can be as serious as cancer depending on what part of the country you reside in. And despite this being the alleged, pro-Obama, post-racial society that closet dwelling bigots would like you to believe that it is, somewhere in America , another young Sarah is getting that same Birth of a Nation  speech right now! So in case you’re unfamiliar with some of the manmade barriers built precisely to thwart a Sarah and Glen meeting of the sexual minds encounter, let’s take some time to acknowledge a few. One of the best known myths involving White women becoming sexually involved with African-American males is blindness, yes blindness! Apparently, if a White woman sees an African-American male in the nude, it will make her go blind for an entire year. Then there is the demon tail at midnight, where African-American males allegedly grow a tail at midnight and become crazed demons that stalk and sexually ambush unsuspecting, well-intended, White women. But the most bizarre tall tale is based on the intelligent design aspect of Christianity. The midnight tail and the blindness are all supposed to be warning signs from God not to have interracial sex with an African-American male, and the reason for this is because God designed the African-American male differently from White men, and the White woman is specifically designed in a way that will only engulf the White male’s structure, because Black is not designed to fit properly.

All of these ethnically unfriendly old-wives-tales were handcrafted and hand delivered by the same ideology that now makes up the bulk of Sarah Palin’s cult-like following, and the mere fact that she has been implicated in this interracial act could prove to be very deleterious to her political career and her personal life. Unfortunately for Sarah and women in general, the understood reality of sowing your wild oats with a few Black ones, clandestinely slid in underneath the taboo radar, does not go over well at the Rush Limbaugh/Fox News water coolers. After all of this, Sarah might want to stay far away from the GOP candidacy, because it’s almost impossible to sweep an African-American male underneath the go away rug at a debate. If conservatives would maul Gov. Rick Perry over his explanation of a vaccine, what do you think they would do to Sarah Palin over her explanation of literally sleeping with the pro-Obama, pro-Democratic Party enemy? It is one thing to be a socialist or to support a socialist, but it’s something much more questionable to do a socialist, and if she would become sexually involved with one African-American, basketball player, could she have her eyes on another basketball player who now lives in the White House, whether it’s him or his policies? How many right-wing Sarah Palin haters could be coming to that conclusion based on this interracial innuendo!

If Sarah came out today and held a press conference and addressed the Glen Rice issue by admitting to it publicly and embracing the humanity that transcends all manmade, pigment barriers through the Christian beliefs that her and the conservative ideology are supposed to be so indebted to, she might find herself becoming the female version of former, Republican Senator Arlen Spector. It would be a very liberal, progressive statement of integrity and independence; not something we’re accustomed to seeing from conservatives. Through their eyes, any level of acceptance by Sarah Palin of her alleged, interracial relationship with Rice could be viewed as a step away from the legitimizing of gay marriage by many of the fringe loons that support her, and no one knows better than Sarah about the narrow width of the fiery, flock circles that candidates are forced to jump through to be given the Tea Party stamp of approval. So we probably shouldn’t expect Sarah to claim or explain Glen to the public unless she’s forced to.

Sarah Palin’s possible one-night stand with Glen Rice is no different than many of the White people from the Bible Belt who voted for President Obama, but cannot admit to it now, could not admit to it then, and will not admit to it tomorrow! What will it say about the conservative movement or the nation as a whole, if the political, death nail in Sarah Palin’s political career gets hammered in, not by her routine incompetence, but by one faithful taste of chocolate from a brother/Blackman? How’s that hopey, changey, black and tangy stuff working out for you now Sarah? Here is your new campaign slogan in case you decide to run for president. Instead of your old, favorite called “Drill Baby Drill,” this new slogan will take Glen Rice into consideration, and it will be called “Drill Brother Drill!” And for the skeptics who do not believe that Glen Rice’s ethnicity is the main factor driving this story, how peculiar is it that all of the antiquated, fear mongered, Birth of a Nation stereotypes are about hindering Glen Rice’s ability to be romantically linked to a Sarah Palin?

Author of the book The Fear of Being Challenged