Michele ‘batsh#t” Bachmann certainly has had a fun time telling Iowans to celebrate sociopathic serial killer John Wayne Gacy among the making other mind-blowing, phenominally moronic gaffes while she positioned herself as the craziest of the crazies running for higher office. Whether she was signing weird and bizarre marriage pledges, hating on porn, fighting reason, and getting every single piece of elementary american history incorrect, she almost always had the backing of the tin-foil cap wearing crowd. Until now, that is.
A tea party group recently issued a shocking and stern warning for long-time tea party favorite Michele Bachmann: Quit the presidential race!
According to CNN:
“It’s time for Michele Bachmann to go,” reads the first line of a statement from American Majority President Ned Ryun. His group operates in seven states, trains thousands of tea party supporters and is “liked” by over 371,000 people on Facebook.
“Bachmann, the leader of the so-called tea party caucus in the House and the most vocal about her affiliation with the Tea Party than any other Presidential candidate, has consistently presented herself as a champion of the movement and its values,” Ryun’s statement continued.
“Bachmann has ridden her tea party credentials from obscurity to a national platform like no other.”
Not wanting to come to the same conclusion that every rational American reached months ago and what her very own band of deranged supporters have even come to, Bachmann’s campaign manager seemed to tread the fine line of pretending his unstable boss has a chance while not totally alienating the fragments of tea party support she still has going for her.
“The strength of the Tea Party is all individual’s opinions are valued but the no single leader speaks for it. Mr. Ryun, who supports Texas Gov. Rick Perry, is entitled to his own opinion. And that’s exactly what he is expressing. Michele Bachmann enjoys strong support from Americans across party lines and that certainly includes the Tea Party. She will continue to be a strong advocate for the values and principles reflected by the Tea Party as works toward a victory in the first-in-the-nation Iowa caucuses as she seeks to win the Republican nomination,” said Bachmann campaign manager Keith Nahigian
Interestingly enough, Mr. Ryun didn’t say if whether he clearly supports Rick Perry.
According to CNN:
“I liked his plan that he came out with earlier in the week. And I said as much in a blog post. But I have not, and neither has American Majority endorsed anybody.”
American Majority serves as the first tea party group to throw one of its own candidates under the out of control, bald tire bus. Despite the fact that Ron Paul is the godfather (and not the pizza kind) of Tea Party philosophy and ideological thought, it’s rather unusual for a prominent Tea Party group to cast aside a presidential candidate that so vigorously supports its ridiculously radical agenda. But it seems the group concluded what every other American paying attention to the race has concluded in that Bachmann, much like her crazy sister from another mother in Alaska, is just another vacuous, attention-seeking fembot of the party of Karl Rove.
“I think it’s pretty obvious that Michele Bachmann is about Michele Bachmann,” American Majority Executive Director Matt Robbins said.
“Let’s face it: she’s a back-bencher and has been a back bencher congressperson for years,” Robbins added. “This is not a serious presidential campaign.“
Well, duh! Better late than never, I suppose.
Even though the movement doesn’t quite understand its own repudiation of taxes and fiscal responsibility, the tea party aims to focus purely on economic matters and, if possible, tries to avoid social issues such as abortion and gay marriage. Although Bachmann tosses around overly simplistic tea party talking points on economic matters and pretends to know what she is talking about on fiscal responsibility (see her spending habits and history of big government handouts), she is often in the news regarding her blind opposition to legally-guranteed abortion rights and religiously inspired hateful rejection of gay marriage.
“In Bachmann’s case, it is clear that the campaign has become less about reform and more about her personal effort to stay relevant and sell books; a harsh commentary, but true,” Ryun wrote. “While other campaigns are diving into the substance, the supposed tea party candidate Bachmann is sticking to thin talking points and hanging on for dear life.“
Again, duh!
Much like Perry and Santorum, Bachmann fails to recognize that she isn’t running for president of the bilious Christian Coalition and therefore needs to appeal to the entire country, as opposed to certain segments. It seems Jenny Beth Martin,co-founder of the Tea Party Patriots, the nation’s largest tea party group, agrees with me.
”When you’re running for president, you’re appealing to more than just tea party people. And you have to answer questions on other issues as well. So I’m not surprised when any of the candidates are talking about the other issues because those are things that come up in presidential campaigns, said Martin.
The Tea party is in no way totally declaring Bachmann’s candidacy dead, but she does appear to be losing her superficial appeal as the race begins to become more serious. Well, as serious as the inane clown posse seeking the Republican presidential nomination can be.
Michael is a comedian/VO artist/Columnist extraordinaire, who co-wrote an award-nominated comedy, wrote for NY Times Laugh Lines, guest-blogged for Joe Biden, and writes a column for MSNBC.com affiliated Cagle. Follow him on Twitter and Facebook. Seriously, follow him or he’ll send you photos of Rush Limbaugh bending over in a thong.
