As the girl with the Jewish father (before Christians loved us), Protestant(ish) mother and agnostic beliefs, I’m used to getting left out. But you’d think this War on Christmas would be right up my alley, right? Every day, my breath is bated, waiting for my recruitment papers. But alas, nothing.
Could it be because I actually celebrate Christmas? Could it be because I contribute my hard-earned money to the pro-Christmas cause?
The war has to be real, right? Everywhere I look, pieces of multi-colored shrapnel light up the landscape. Shoppers carry tazers in case they encounter the enemy. Their call to arms can be heard from near and far, “Merry Christmas!” and “Get out of my way. That iPad is mine!”
But what of the other side…people who gleefully chant, “Happy Holidays?” What about the “Tree Lighting Ceremony?” The very lack of the word, “Christmas” is sending Santa’s elfs into hiding. People’s homes, once invaded by Christmas specials and Christmas commercials are well, still invaded by Christmas specials and Christmas commercials, but because some aren’t uttering the word “Christmas,” their homes are a little less CHRISTmasy. Their trees droop from the weight of the war (or could it be from the 100 pounds of decorations?) People will still go to church on December 25th, but little girls’ patent leather Mary Janes won’t quite have the gleam of years past.
The anti-Christmas side needs our help. It was rumored that the President himself was on their side, but he and Michelle have obviously been brainwashed.
Even Bill O’Reilly acknowledges that his side is in fact, winning the War on Christmas, despite Jon Stewart’s hell-bound martyrdom.
It’s time for all atheists, agnostics, heathens and non-Christians to gather together and plan the next attack. First, we must choose a meeting place. Perhaps the mall? Then, we must choose our weapons. Credit cards should work. Wrapping paper should help us disguise our loot. We already know our battle cry -
HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL AND TO ALL A BEAUTIFUL NEW YEAR!
Wow could you be any more preachy with your ideals? Gimme a break and go found an island of Atheists. Nothing wrong with a festive season, changing it to your ways is infringing on old cultures passed down from our grandparents and so forth. Show some respect for those who passed this world unto us and stop preaching your religious views.
Thanks.
I’m tired of arguing “my holiday based on a pagan holiday is better than your holiday based on a pagan holiday”. The reason for the season? Friends. Family. Love. Depending on your personal beliefs, it could also include gifts of time, charity, electronics. But yer another thing is universal: Gorging oneself on cookies & eggnog. Can’t we all get behind that?
Happy Holidays to all at Addicting Info!
If you feel that the Christ is not in Christmas, then you are respondsible for putting him in for yourself. Not anyone else. If you say that it is religious, then that is personal & that’s the way it should stay. With you, not me.