Major GOP Candidates All Pledge To Be ‘Hard On’ Porn
A headline that is surely Onion-worthy, but sadly is all too true. In October, right as then Republican front runner Herman Cain was showing his superior morality by denying he had extra-marital affairs or sexually harassed women, Morality In Media (MIM), the “leading national organization opposing pornography and indecency through public education and the application of the law (hateful, sanctimonious, self-loathing prudes who hate the idea of anyone being happy),” launched an effort to get presidential candidates in both major parties to commit to strict enforcement of obscenity laws. After all, what Jenna Jameson does with a banana trumps high unemployment, soaring college tuition costs, corruption, environmental apocalypse, outdated and crumbling infrastructure, external threats and foreign conflicts, wall street greed during a time of unprecedented income equality and in the worst economy since the great depression and is all Americans can think about.
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Well, it seems Newt Gingrich, Mitt Romney, and Rick Santorum all pledged their commitment to the MIM pledge. That’s right, the serial adulterist was among the three major GOP candidates to agree to proscribing the one last pleasure away from desperate and unemployed Americans.
Former Senator Rick Santorum in a written statement:
“Federal obscenity laws should be vigorously enforced. If elected President, I will appoint an Attorney General who will do so.”
Former Governor Mitt Romney in a written statement:
“(I)t is imperative that we cultivate the promotion of fundamental family values. This can be accomplished with increased parental involvement and enhanced supervision of our children. It includes strict enforcement of our nation’s obscenity laws, as well as the promotion of parental software controls that guard our children from Internet pornography.”
Former Speaker Newt Gingrich in a face-to-face meeting:
When MIM’s Executive Director Dawn Hawkins asked former Speaker Gingrich if he will enforce existing laws that make distribution of hard-core adult pornography illegal, he responded: “Yes, I will appoint an Attorney General who will enforce these laws.”
Just to be clear, they are all running on a platform of LESS government??? Oh yeah, that Republican truism only applies to less economic opportunity for the middle class and poor. Evidently, Jesus was much more concerned with what consenting adults chose to do for a profession than such ludicrous and inhumane acts as staying faithful to your dying spouse , looking out for the neediest, and adopting better energy strategies that do not involve pillaging an already exhausted planet with reckless abandon. And lord knows the founding fathers intended elected leaders to inject their warped religious views into the secular sphere of government. And do I even have to mention the irony of vigorously opposing pornography by a group of men who appear readily willing to screw the American electorate in public.
Instead of promoting social and economic polices that seek to strengthen struggling families, including mandating sick leave and parental leave, the GOP candidates would rather focus on ridiculously irrelevant issues that seek to appease a small but influential group of theocratic loons ahead of the South Carolina Primary.
Michael is a comedian/VO artist/Columnist extraordinaire, who co-wrote an award-nominated comedy, wrote for NY Times Laugh Lines, guest-blogged for Joe Biden, and writes a column for MSNBC.com affiliated Cagle. Follow him on Twitter and Facebook. Seriously, follow him or he’ll send you a photo of Rush Limbaugh bending over in a thong.
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Um please post link to Jenna Jameson and the banana. Tx.
The hypocrisy. This is “big government,” and it doesn’t help anyone. The porn industry is a big industry, and it is not the government’s decision to tell people what they can and cannot watch.
Aw, come on guys (and gals), what’s wrong with limiting sex to only married persons wanting to procreate? God save us all, however, if they decide to outlaw masturbation!
These “culture war” people need to quit trying to force their morality on society. Why is it that these guys get freaked out over nudity and sex in the media, but you can depict grisly scenes of death and destruction and that’s okay. To me, that’s sick!
George Carlin.
Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Mother Fucker and Tits! Rock on George!
Don’t these job killers know that Porn is a FIFTY SEVEN BILLION DOLLAR industry?
Stricter regulations on the porn industry might be the very first time (and probably last) that I agree with any of the republican candidates. Like many educated, liberal-minded people, I used to believe anti-porn activists were prudes suffering from the long, oppressive arm of our Puritan roots. But after seeing feminist activist, sociologist, and professor Gail Dines speak about the reality of the porn industry and the affect it has on young women and girls in our culture, my mind was changed. Even more alarming is how it has transformed male/female romantic relationships. Just like any multi-billion dollar industry, the porn industry has used its money and influence to change laws, public policy, and weasel its influence into how our society treats women, men, sex, and sexuality in general. Check out Professor Dine’s book, Pornland. It’s alarming and eye opening. And she’s a real badass, too. http://gaildines.com/
Oh yes Willard, we must protect the children. Something you did so well with the thousands of American jobs you killed.
Our THRUST is to PRICK holes in the STIFF front ERECTED by the smut business. We’ve got to COME TOGETHER so we can WHIP this THING into SUBMISSION. It’ll be HARD ON us, but we can’t LICK IT by being SOFT!!
agreed. Sometimes you just need to insert yourself into the situation to stretch the possibilities of success, occasionally removing one’s presence and re-entering the point of engagement. This is the only way we can get our greatness of character to flow to our enemies.
That was Gold Jeff…. awesome work
We want the smut dealers HUNG and we want FAST ACTION. We’ve got to RAM TROUGH a STIFF bail law, so it will be HARD for him to GET IT UP. That way we can LAY to rest his DOMINANT POSITION.
Mark, I wish I could take the credit, but I was paraphrasing some old-school George Carlin (Toledo Window Box). Hey, I only steal from the best!!