Well, gay marriage has been legal here in Iowa for going on three years now, and just as FOX News predicted, traditional marriage has all but ceased to exist in the Hawkeye state.
The sinister influence of the gay agenda has spread through Iowa faster than anyone thought possible. This epidemic was so pervasive in Iowa that in just the past six months alone, you could see Santorum in public view in every one of Iowa’s 99 counties.
I, myself was accosted by a young man who asked directions to the nearest Bed, Bath and Beyond. Though it may sound harmless, I could read between the lines and tell what he really wanted. I was fortunate that I managed to get away before he could show me how to pick out throw pillows that complement my living room decor.
Some Iowans built underground gay shelters in their back yards where they can be safe from the gay influence, while school children are being taught how to “duck and cover” when they hear the gay warning sirens go off.
Many people will argue that there were benefits to being one of the first states to legalized gay marriage. It created something of an economic boon to the Iowa economy. When gay couples from other states traveled to Iowa to get married, they spent money here for food, lodging and entertainment.
But now that New York State has jumped onto the gay marriage bandwagon, I’m guessing most gay couples would rather go to New York City to get married where they can take in an actual Broadway musical instead of, say Dubuque, where they might see a high school drama department’s performance of Fiddler on the Roof.
So far my wife and I are still happily married but we fear it’s only a matter of time before we, too, fall victim to the gay menace. Just as Bill O’Reilly predicted, it’s becoming increasingly difficult to remain married to my wife knowing that it’s completely legal for me to marry a dude.
Don’t let this happen to you. Stop gay marriage before your state suffers the same fate as Iowa.
Wow, people are stupid.
LMAO!! This is amazing!! Soooo needed a good laugh today. You know, we joke about “catching the gay” all the time but this is hysterical! I’m proud to live in a state where I could marry my lesbian partner if we chose to take that next step! PRICELESS and WELL DONE!!!
Coming Soon to a town near you. ‘Fire & Brimstone’ [or 'How I Learned That God Is Not To Be Mocked And Kept It In The Closet Where It Belongs.] a one act play, by V.A. Fongol
Notice to the Humor-Impared. In case it isn’t obvious. This article is satire.
I died a little inside when I read the comments. My flabber has been gasted at the people who didn’t realize the article is satire.
In MA, the crisis reached epidemic proportions. Do you have any idea how hard it is to book a decent wedding venue in the Berkshires with all the competition now?!
OH…MY…GOD! I guess it’s a GOOD thing that my DP and I are planning on moving to Ioway!