Why I Support the Rosemont Copper Open-Pit Mine (HUMOR)
Clean Arizona Mine Water? from blogs.ngm.com
It was exciting to see so many people at the Forest Service meeting for the Rosemont open-pit mine in Sahuarita on Saturday, January 14th. I was also happy to see all support for the 1% by the proletariat.
I support the open-pit mine because I support America. Thus I support Korean company Kores and Canadian consortium Augusta who will be extracting ore and profit from us. Furthermore, Rosemont will be able to ship the copper anywhere, like China, after it’s out of the ground. Yea America!
The quaint America first taint of the comments in the Sahuarita public school is so heart warming in a time of globalization, global capital and free markets that demand corporations sell to the highest bidder. And all that love we received was overwhelming after our corporations sent so many jobs overseas, closed plants and have fought public spending on roads, schools, water treatment and so forth. Frankly, us millionaires are against lavish spending to pay for teachers, fill potholes or make bridges safe.
The open-pit mine is the best kind because they are fast and complete. You don’t miss the opportunity for maximum tailings when you dig a big, mile-wide hole. Moreover, I love the smell of tailings in the morning.
Besides the mile-wide hole to behold, there are other reasons I support the mine.
I am for the Rosemont open-pit mine because I hate birds. Who cares about bio-diversity and animals? Humans are the only animals that matter. And those bird watchers are dirty hippies that need to get a job! Or is that Occupy Tucson? Whatever the case, only Marxists put birds before open-pit mines and profit.
As bad as the bird-watchers are, there are the astronomers who are demanding that we keep the lights down. Like all liberals, astronomers are hypocrites. They get to have their science but they want to prevent Rosemont from using their mining science. So what if a little light leaks into the sky? I hate the stars too!
And all the “sky is falling” chicken little environmentalists need to shut up about water quality and look at the facts. Nothing went wrong with BP and Exxon who protected the environment in the Gulf of Mexico and Alaska. They followed the law completely, and so does Rosemont Copper and nothing will go wrong here either. Rosemont Copper has promised us, and corporations always follow through on their promises. Just ask the fishermen on the Gulf of Mexico.
Rosemont promises 500 jobs for 20 years in the mines. Some pessimists (liberals!) want to know what happens if the price of copper collapses. Don’t worry about us. We can just close the mine and take it as a write off.
I am in favor of the Rosemont Copper open-pit mine because despite the incomplete environmental impact draft study by the U.S. Forest Service, I am sure that we can trust corporations to do what is best for the people in the region. We need to start chopping into that mountain while the getting is good and before people realize there are better, cleaner ways to mine than using an open-pit and there are other ways to create those 500 jobs Rosemont swears will be here for 20 years.
Besides, making millionaires money without risk to us is the best reason to support the open-pit mine. I can also support the Rosemont open-pit mine because I don’t live in area and I won’t have to look at it, drink the water or smell the air. I will only have to look at the wonderful cash I will make from my investment. And thanks again to all those at the meeting for supporting the billionaires’ mine.