A fitting ending to the political life of Herman Cain.
Even as the South Carolina primary was mercifully coming to an end, several hundred conservatives were already gathering in a rally/religious revival at Lake Eola in Orlando, Florida. Cain was just one of a travelling band of anti-regulation minstrels attracted to the event that became known as “Conservatives United 2012.” Among the most prominent speakers were Cain himself, who called for a conservative revolution. In his own elegant prose:
“Back in the 1700s, it was about bombs and bullets,” said ex-presidential candidate Herman Cain, who, during a speech that capped the event, likened the upcoming elections to the American Revolution.
“This revolution’s going to be about brains and ballots,” Cain said.
But the alliteration king was not the only conservative celebrity on stage. Joe the Plumber, now apparently running for Congress in Ohio, addressed the crowd, saying they needed to “Take down big government, take down Goliath.” And they had some pretty stiff competition for the crowd’s attention, too. Former Florida AG and current political hermit Bill McCollum gave a long, fierce, and in some places overly Maudlin speech endorsing Newt for president. Because after all, McCollum kept repeating, he’s the only one who can really beat Obama. But, as if to underscore how far the conservative movement has fallen since Reagan forgave all of their sins, the real crowd-pleaser wasn’t even a current politician. It was singing George W. Bush impersonator John Morgan.
The circle of reality continues to shrink for the conservative movement even as its rhetorical power diminishes. Now only able to sustain crowds of several hundred for a few hours at a time, the age of the grassroots conservative is entering the support group phase, on the verge of closing up entirely. The spirit of Reagan already paces through the lair, seriously contemplating sealing himself for the next ten thousand years until once more the slumbering world is ready for conquest deregulation.
But don’t tell that to Herman Cain. The self-entitled and aggrandized guerrilla warrior for the people is determined to fight on. Assuring the crowd at Lake Eola that “the 9-9-9 revolution is alive,” metaphorically draping himself in an American flag stamped all over with corporate sponsors, the former political war hero left the stage. “9-9-9″ might well be his last word.
The next Conservative support group meeting is January 31st, in Florida. Refreshments *may* be provided.
