Mitt Romney should fire everyone on his campaign staff and hire me. I have the solution to all of his problems: a muzzle.
Seriously, in an election season where 3/4 of the country are pissed off at the banks, and the rich in general, for having too much power and influence over our government, just about anything Mitt Romney says is going go over like a lead balloon.
Following up on his infamous “Corporations are people, my friend” gaffe, Mitt Romney has sealed his reputation as part of the 1% by stating that “the banks aren’t bad people.” Yes, the man definitely needs a muzzle. And maybe one of those electric shock collars as well.
Here’s the video:
Mr. Romney, I am available for hire. I’ll improve your image with the average American by any means necessary. Perhaps I’ll paralyze your vocal cords until the inauguration. We can even claim you’re saving money! Just like the average American family that you keep trying (and failing) to connect with! I’ll work for the low low fee of $480,115. You know, what you consider to be “not very much.” That HAS to be less than what you’re forking out now for the lousy campaign you’re running.
But you know, the more you talk, the worse you do and the closer we get to a Newt Gingrich candidacy. The amount of damage Newt would do to the GOP as his bid for the White House goes down in flames would be epic. On second thought, Mitt, here’s a bullhorn. Have at it!
I’ll bring the marshmallows.
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I’ll bring the really, really long sticks–you’re not going to want to get very close to the flames, as they’re going to be both hot and fairly toxic.
And I’d recommend donating the toasted marshmallows to the Republican’ts hovering about, as they probably wouldn’t be very nutritious, or safe.
But Republican’ts don’t care about poisoned food, unbreathable air or polluted water. So they deserve those marshmallows.
Seriously, you filthy liberal scum, I was afraid you were serious until I got to the bottom of the post. I’ll donate the batteries for the bullhorn. I’ve been watching gleefully as Mutt Rimney spirals farther down the drain every time he opens his mouth. My only real astonishment here is that almost the entire Republican’t party really DOES have amnesia. That’s the only explanation I can give for the fact that Newt Dungrich wasn’t laughed off the stage during the first “debate”, and is currently pulling into the lead. . .
I don’t know when I transitioned into the Bizarro Dimension, but I want to find the doorway back so I can go home. When Newt Gingrich is in the running to be President and Mitt Romney is trying to make poor people believe he’s just like them, this sh!t has just plain gotten too f*ck!ng weird for me.
God help us all.