With the US economy showing improvement, including the Dow Jones up nearly 100 percent, it can only mean that Republicans need to ratchet up the crazy talk on abortion and contraception, since they have nothing to run but fear and fear itself. No group or organization is safe, apparently not even the Girl Scouts of America (not to be confused with the less popular Girl Scouts of al-Qaeda).
Indiana GOP Rep. Bob Morris has claimed that the girls Scouts are “bent on promoting communism, lesbianism and subverting “traditional American family values,” according to MSNBC.com. I will say that I am not a huge fan of their aborted-fetus flavored cookies, but I am quite partial to Lesbian Lemon Wafer.
It is for this severely mentally unstable reason why Morris absolutely refuses to get on board with a resolution to that seeks to honor the Girl Scouts on their 100 year anniversary.
“After talking to some well-informed constituents, I did a small amount of Web-based research, and what I found is disturbing,” Morris wrote Saturday to Republican House colleagues in a letter obtained by the Fort Wayne Journal Gazette.
The paranoid lunatic (who we now elect to public office) actually claimed in the letter that the Girls Scouts of America “have entered into a close strategic affiliation with Planned Parenthood and are trying to sexualiz(e) young girls through the Girl Scouts.” Of course, high fructose corn syrup and smut almost instantly come to mind regarding the Girl Scouts, not so much all the vast community service and leadership skills.
Not quite willing to stop embarrassing himself just yet, Morris went on to say that only “three of the 50 Girl Scout role models have a religious background,” according to the same letter.
“All the rest are feminists, lesbians, or Communists,” wrote Morris.
It won’t be long before Morris drafts a House resolution stating that the Girl Scouts undergo mandatory trans-vaginal ultrasounds.
Here is a large portion of the letter Morris wrote:
Nonetheless, abundant evidence proves that the agenda of Planned Parenthood includes sexualizing young girls through the Girl Scouts, which is quickly becoming a tactical arm of Planned Parenthood. Planned Parenthood instructional series and pamphlets are part of the core curriculum at GSA training seminars. Denver Auxiliary Bishop James D. Conley of Denver last year warned parents that “membership in the Girl Scouts could carry the danger of making their daughters more receptive to the pro-abortion agenda.”
A Girl Scouts of America training program last year used the Planned Parenthood sex education pamphlet “Happy, Healthy, and Hot.” The pamphlet instructs young girls not to think of sex as “just about vaginal or anal intercourse.” “There is no right or wrong way to have sex. Just have fun, explore and be yourself!” it states. Although individual Girl Scout troops are not forced to follow this curriculum, many do. Liberal progressive troop-leaders will indoctrinate the girls in their troop according to the principles of Planned Parenthood, making Bishop Conley’s warning true.
Many parents are abandoning the Girl Scouts because they promote homosexual lifestyles. In fact, the Girl Scouts education seminar girls are directed to study the example of role models. Of the fifty role models listed, only three have a briefly-mentioned religious background – all the rest are feminists, lesbians, or Communists. World Net Daily, in a May 2009 article, states that Girl Scout Troops are no longer allowed to pray or sing traditional Christmas Carols.
Boys who decide to claim a “transgender” or cross-dressing life-style are permitted to become a member of a Girl Scout troop, performing crafts with the girls and participate in overnight and camping activities – just like any real girl. The fact that the Honorary President of Girl Scouts of America is Michelle Obama, and the Obama’s [sic] are radically pro-abortion and vigorously support the agenda of Planned Parenthood, should give each of us reason to pause before our individual or collective endorsement of the organization.
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Michael is a comedian/VO artist/Columnist extraordinaire, who co-wrote an award-nominated comedy, produces a chapter of Laughing Liberally, wrote for NY Times Laugh Lines, guest-blogged for Joe Biden, and writes a column for MSNBC.com affiliated Cagle Media. Follow him on Twitter and Facebook, and like NJ Laughing Liberally Lab. Seriously, follow him or he’ll send you a photo of Rush Limbaugh bending over in a thong.