Since nobody likes old money bags Romney and nobody really serious or threatening is running for the Republican Presidential Nomination, the country seems to has its eyes and ears glued to whatever drug-addict and pretend radio host Rush Limbaugh says and does–despite the fact that the rotund rabble-rouses has been making millions for years now saying insanely offensive things.
The world’s most dangerous (or is it impotent?) man in America recently feigned an apology To Georgetown Law Student, Sandra Fluke, following a plethora of advertisers pulling out faster than a junior on prom night. Naturally, his apology was more feigned than one of Newt Gingrich’s marriage proposals. But, Limbaugh really upped his juvenile and obnoxious temper tantrum of an apology when he actually blamed Liberals for making him “act like a liberal.”
According to MediaMatters, “ Liberals have a willingness to say or do anything to advance their agenda. But this is the mistake I made,” admitted Mr. Limbaugh, humbly. “In fighting them on this issue last week, I became like them. Against my own instincts, against my own knowledge, against everything I know to be right and wrong, I descended to their level, when I used those two words to describe Sandra Fluke, I became like them, and I feel very badly about that.” He continued, “I have always tried to maintain a very high degree of integrity and independence on this program,” said Limbaugh on his radio program.
Wait, integrity? But really, integrity??? Integrity not only needs a bath, but needs to permanently be put in a decontamination chamber. Not quite sure how, but that just seems worse than calling Sandra Fluke a ’slut’. Regarding independence, its well-known that Rush Limbaugh is nothing but a two-bit hustler/propagandist for the Republican Party as he proudly does their bidding–saying things they wish they could say but can’t– through mega corporation Clear Channel, which is now a division of Mitt Romney’s Bain Capital.
In an even more bizarre turn or events, Rush Limbaugh–a man who criminally touts the fetters of free market capitalism (IE, sticking up for BP following the massive spill) no matter how illogical it may be–seemed to be more akin to William Jennings Brian (google it) than Friedrich Hayek when he made the following comments earlier today:
“Stick with me through a couple of more segments here. I want to clean up a few other things. The left, folks, the media giddy that some advertisers have said they’re leaving the program. And I’m sorry so see them go. They have profited handsomely from you. These advertisers who have split the scene have done very well due to their access to you, my audience, from this program. To offer their products and services to you through this venue is the best opportunity that they have ever had to advertise their wares. Now they’ve chosen to deny themselves that access. And that’s a business decision, and it’s theirs alone to make. They’ve decided they don’t want you or your business anymore. So be it. For me, this program is always about you. You talk to anybody that knows me who asks me about this program, and I always say it’s all for the audience. Because if you’re not there, all the rest of this is academic. This show is about you. It’s not about the advertisers,” from the March 5 edition of Premiere Radio Networks’ The Rush Limbaugh Show (Source: MediaMatters)
Wait, academic? So apparently hordes white, dyspeptic, gun-touting, fear-based nut jobs with GEDs whining about some black Wal-Mart coworker addressing them by their first name qualifies as an academic endeavor. Well, if Michele Bachmann was a presidential candidate, anything is possible. As far as it being about the l;listeners, Rush is finally realizing that the free market can’t even protect right-wing millionaire trolls like himself, thus he’s just now imagining himself to be some sort of rugged pioneer who corporate america worships, not the other way around.
Enjoy this funny Parody of Rush Limbaugh explaining the real reasons behind contraception.
Michael is a comedian/VO artist/Columnist extraordinaire, who co-wrote an award-nominated comedy, produces a chapter of Laughing Liberally, wrote for NY Times Laugh Lines, guest-blogged for Joe Biden, and writes a column for MSNBC.com affiliated Cagle Media. Follow him on Twitter and Facebook, and like NJ Laughing Liberally Lab. Seriously, follow him or he’ll send you a photo of Rush Limbaugh bending over in a thong.