You Can’t Cash In Your Faith For A Vote
As Rick Santorum celebrates tonight after winning the states of Mississippi and Alabama to follow-up on his victories in Kansas, Oklahoma, and Tennessee; poor, old Mitt Romney must be feeling like the Mormon who lost his favorite mojo and needs to find Stella, so he can try to get his groove back. Because at this point, all of Mitt’s horses and all of Mitt’s men are having a ton of trouble trying to put his ability to sell one-track minded conservatives from Dixie a Mormon Humpty Dumpty back together again!
During a recent article, I posed the question of whether or not Mitt Romney should consider getting baptized to try to woo over of the cognitive, paper airplanes that refuse to land anywhere outside of their nearest, conservative, crop-dusting airport. The answer to that question is “why not?” It certainly couldn’t hurt. Maybe symbolism can succeed where rationale has failed, because whether it’s one perceived flip-flop or one hundred, it usually depends more on who’s doing the flip-flopping than on the actual flip-flop itself. So if Romney flip-flopped on religion, this is the one time that it could actually pay off for him–but in all likelihood probably not.
So could it be possible that Romney is just too sophisticated for the ‘Deputy Dawg’ mentality of the run-of-the-mill, bear trap conservatives? Is he so smart that he’s unable to adequately dumb it down enough for the anti-science crowd? Judging by his recent comments that he made while campaigning in the south of how he has learned how to say the word y’all and how he likes grits, it’s obvious that someone in the Romney campaign is trying to coach him up in the ‘Deputy Dawg’ ways as best as they can, but is that really the problem? Think back to when President Bush 41 went to the grocery store and was humbled into a complete, mental baffling when he came face to face with an item scanner. Romney might be out-of-touch, but he certainly hasn’t been and isn’t now the only one.
Then there are those in the conservative camp who claim that their hatred for Romney is based on his top 1% aura of being out-of-touch with the common, conservative man. But being the progressive that I am, I find it laughably absurd for Republicans and conservatives to sit around whining and moaning in their political discomfort over Romney’s financial assets. Of course his wife drives a couple of Cadillacs. Heck, she probably owns an entire fleet, and any other time, with any other candidate who was not a Mormon, Republicans and conservatives would be crowning Romney’s big, corporate success as the premier example of American capitalism, as they handed him the nomination. Republicans and conservatives complaining about another Republican having too much money is like Newt Gingrich complaining about President Clinton engaging in too much infidelity.
Thanks to the southern hospitality of Dixie, Mitt Romney finds himself right back where he started, which is at the Mormon drawing board, because if he was a traditional, establishment, Christian candidate, for all intents and purposes this race would be over right now with him declared as the winner. Unfortunately for Romney, you cannot cash in your faith for a vote my brother, because not even a $42 million dollar man like him probably has enough money to pay enough people to look beyond their narrow-mindedness.
Even though he used a lot of his big money to outspend Rick Santorum in many of these states, especially the southern primaries, the voters refused to go along for the ride. Someone needs to send Romney an mp3 file of the Beatles’ classic hit called ‘Money Can’t Buy Me Love’—politically or otherwise! After that, someone should send Romney another mp3 file of another Beatles’ classic hit called ‘The Long and Winding Road,’ because that’s exactly what this nomination race is turning out to be for him.