Destroy All Humans! The Secret Satan Spawned Plot Of Environmentalists (According To The Insane Right Wing)


Have you donated to Greenpeace today? No? EXTERMINATE!

It’s true! All of those damn tree hugging hippies are actually the pawns of Ol’ Scratch himself! They SAY that they want to save the Spotted Owl and the rare but beautiful Three Pronged Jumping Hump beetle (OK, I made that up) but what they REALLY want is to exterminate mankind!!

A few days before Earth Day, religious right wing nut job Bryan Fischer warned his mindless sheep brainwashed idiots listeners that environmentalists were out to get them:

That’s why I want you to understand that the environmental movement is fundamentally anti-human, it is fundamentally anti-human. And this bears the imprint of the Father of Lies because the Father of Lies, remember hates human beings. Why? Because we are made in the image of God. He wants to stamp out human beings because we remind him God. Well, environmentalists have the same exact agenda: they want to wipe humanity off the face of the globe. Do not be deceived about this; this is the ultimate goal of the environmentalists.

It’s all so clear to me now! By maintaining biodiversity, clean air and water, environmentalists will make the world so pollution free that our preservative riddled bodies will collapse from the strain of trying to be healthy! That must mean that polluting the atmosphere is God’s Will!

The future of Mega-churches

Fischer is not the first conspiracy theory freak to go down this road. Glenn Beck put forth the idea that the “Green Movement” thinks that humans are a virus to be limited through forced abortion and sterilization. Now, I will admit that I hear some liberals bark about how we’re killing the planet and those people irritate me greatly. We are not capable of killing the planet. It’s survived at least two complete changes in the chemical composition of its atmosphere (Oxygen, introduced by plant life, was a poison to the life forms that came first). Several mass extinctions have wiped out the vast majority of life on the Earth. Hell, even if you go with Noah’s Flood, life still survived and thrived. So complaining that we’re destroying the Earth is silly.

What more rational environmentalists say, however, is that we’re screwing up the planet for human life and in that, they are correct. There are over 7 billion people alive at this moment in time. The amount of water and food we consume is enormous as is the amount of waste we leave behind, especially when we consider the extremely wasteful lifestyle of first world nations, of which the United States is by far the head of the pack. Sooner or later, we’ll reach a tipping point where we will not be able to sustain that large a population even at the meager level far too many of the poor currently subsist at. That is what environmentalists are concerned with; mass starvation and hardship.

On the other hand, Fischer and his fellow corporate lackeys will be safe from such depredations because they will have the money to see themselves and their families through any manner of disaster, man-made or otherwise and so they continue to push economic policies that will mean suffering for millions, if not billions, of others. It’s the perfect confluence of greed and inhumanity.

If you really believe in Dick Cheney Lucifer ask yourself who is more likely to be his servant: the person trying to ensure that future generations will have clean water to drink and clean air to breathe or the one that says limiting corporate pollution is evil?

Dude...like, totally hail Satan and stuff...right after we finish listening to this Grateful Dead album, man....

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