10 Reasons Why Corporations Aren’t People
10 Reasons Why Corporations Aren’t People
1. People generally pay their annual income taxes.
2. People generally don’t have spreadsheets in place of a soul.
3. People generally have to make their own breakfast, wipe their own asses, and drive themselves to work in a vehicle that’s cheaper than the mini bar on a corporate jet.
4. People can show their faces in public without the fear of being bludgeoned by custard pies.
5. People don’t usually consider themselves a native of the Dutch Antilles for tax purposes.
6. People don’t generally dump chemicals into their drinking water and sell their coworkers to Vietnam.
7. People generally don’t eat caviar out the anus of a Michelangelo statue for breakfast during an economic recession.
8. People generally don’t forget how many pieces of real estate they own.
9. People generally don’t purchase golden commodes in which to crap on their lunch breaks during an economic recession (see Meryl Lynch CEO).
10. People generally don’t refer to multinational, lifeless, amorphous engines of soul-sucking greed whose sole purpose is to downsize and shed hard-earned American jobs in order to tear apart the earth in the Third World and enslave its local populations as, well, people.
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Edited By: Sherri Yarbrough
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Author: Michael Hayne
Michael is a comedian/VO artist/impressionist who co-wrote a feature length award-nominated film, contributed to NY Times Laugh Lines, guest blogged for Joe Biden, appeared in Nat Geo's Drugged: High on Marijuana (where apparently he battled herbal terrorists), contributes humorous commentary to MSNBC.com affiliated Cagle Media and NewJerseyNewsroom, and wrote for Huffington Post, Reality Check, and for FireDogLake.com's "Just Say Now" Marijuana campaign (But if you're Eric Holder and reading this, my name is actually Alex Jones).
Follow Michael on Twitter and Facebook. Seriously, follow him or he'll send you photos of Chris Christie in a Speedo.
4:40 pm
A corporation cannot be drafted to help a country fight in a war, and die for the same.
3:47 pm
If they’re people, we should be able to fit them into a guillotine.
7:43 am
About corporations in general: I am convinced that corporations were invented by psychopaths so they could do psychopathic things and get away with it….not be held liable for what the psychopathic corporation does..think about it, if a corporation were a person (note, I don’t say “human”), it WOULD BE a psychopath – completely devoid of a conscience or soul…no remorse, no empathy, no regrets….
Note that I am pro-businees, or should I say pro-small business. As a libertarian I don’t like the undue influence of “big” ANYTHING – big corporations, big gov’t, big banks. Companies are good, corporations bad. Now, back before we had corporations, we had something called “partnerships”, where those who were in the partnership were held liable if the company’s actions harmed someone. Also, the company couldn’t grow past the point where you couldn’t personally supervise and be responsible for the company’s actions. If you want to grow bigger than that, then you need to add more partners.
You don’t have that these days as the actions of the CEOs are protected by the corporation’s status…so it’s really messed up…corporations have the legal rights of a human, yet are not held liable as a human would be…it’s all backwards..
I say bring back partnerships and get rid of the psychopathic institution of the corporation.
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Ponerology is good topic to study, because it is more scientific than anything and explains to existence of evil in the world without getting into ‘spiritual’ or conspiratorial stuff.
Note that with every release of those “DMV”s, the defintion of psychopathic behavior keeps getting pushed out of the way with newer, watered-down labels and definitions like “anti-social behvior”…sounds more like someone who doesn’t like to go to parties….I wonder who decides these things…
BTW, brain scans can now confirm that when psychopaths are shown horrid images, or given words like “death” “cancer”, etc, the emotional centers of their brains do not get stimultated, but rather the verbal sections..this is how they can fake emotions..we have a way of identifying them now…maybe all our so-called “leaders” should be required to have one, but you know THAT will never happen……..
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My psychopath resources:
Snakes in Suits: When Psychopaths Go to Work
http://www.amazon.com/Snakes-Suits-When-Psychopaths-Work/dp/0060837721
Without Conscience: The Disturbing World of the Psychopaths Among Us
http://www.amazon.ca/Without-Conscience-Disturbing-World-Psychopaths/dp/1572304510
The Sociopath Next Door
http://www.amazon.com/Sociopath-Next-Door-Martha-Stout/dp/076791581X
Political Ponerology and Psychopaths: A science on the nature of evil adjusted for political purposes
http://www.dailypaul.com/node/53506
Twilight of the Psychopaths (excellent article, with a John Lennon quote!)
http://www.truthnews.us/?p=1530
The Role of the Psychopath in the Generation of Global Evil
http://ponerology.blogspot.com/2005/12/role-of-psychopath-in-generation-of.html
The Trick of the Psychopath’s Trade: Make Us Believe that Evil Comes from Others
http://laura-knight-jadczyk.blogspot.com/2008/02/trick-of-psychopaths-trade-make-us.html
Two-seed theory: The origins of the psychopathic elite
http://www.dailypaul.com/node/68954
11:03 pm
the misuse of soul instead of sole found within the last point is an eyesore. grammatical errors usually overshadow anything valid that was said and this is one of them. sorry to break it to you but i just see this as ‘sillie’ now.
11:48 pm
Actually, the only eyesore is your complete and utter lack of elementary reading comprehension. The final part refers to sole as in being the only one. For example, you are the sole moron of the this thread.
5:27 am
Oh, SNAP! The last point of the article was grammatically perfect, of course. Before one decides to self-apoint as Grammar Policeman, perhaps it’s best to make sure one has a thorough grounding in grammar, or at least a manual.
9:24 pm
What William said. We do ourselves and our beliefs an injustice when we resort to name-calling and somewhat disgusting imagery in trying to point out why things need to be changed.
7:39 pm
There’s really only one reason necessary: People are human.
1:57 pm
It would have been nice to see some of the real reasons on that list. Here are 11 actual reasons that corporations are not people:
– People don’t have perpetual existence.
– People can get married in the eyes of God; corporations cannot.
– A person can go to jail.
– A person can vote.
– A person has natural citizenship defined by birth.
– A person can have a social security number.
– A person can be elected to office.
– A person has an individual identity; corporations can be comprised of several identities.
– A person killing another is murder; a corporation killing another is fair business.
– If a corporation can be a person, then a person can be a corporation, and therefore be exempt from things like lawsuits and jail time – just as a corporation is – in states that have bylaws to protect them.
– If something with no life can be granted all the benefits and protections a living person receives, then so can a dead person who never ceased to be a person simply because they no longer possess life.
11:03 pm
the misuse of soul instead of sole found within the last point is an eyesore. grammatical errors usually overshadow anything valid that was said and this is one of them. sorry to break it to you but i just see this as ‘sillie’ now.
8:40 am
Clearly you need us to all prey for your sole.
5:29 am
give it up, willya?
4:42 pm
Not only can people get married, they can adopt children, biologically have, children, have their heartbeat and blood pressure checked, get a driver’s license and a passport, need medical care, have individual emotions, and so many other things too! It should be perfectly apparent that corporations are not people.
4:45 pm
Sorry about the comma between have and children. It shouldn’t be there.