Today’s Republican party can’t seem to make up its mind who it hates the most or, at least, who it wants to alienate the most come election day. But let’s just say that the War on Gays was around before the War on Women was cool.

A rabidly anti-gay pastor had some interesting words for parents of gay offspring. It seems the sexually frustrated (ie, deeply closeted queer) thinks the best solution for parents dealing with children of the gay persuasion is not to accept their Tim Gunn phase, but to “squash the gay out  like a cockroach”.

Pastor Sean Harris implored parents they are “authorized,” and that he was “giving them a special dispensation” to attack their children.

“Give them a good punch,” and “crack that wrist,” said Harris (Source: NewCivilRightsMovement)

Here’s the audio:

I’m not sure if “love thy neighbor and children of god, except if they’re gay, then squasheth them like a cockroach” appears in the Old Testament, but who knows?–the Bible does say some crazy crap. I guess praying away the gay just leads to the gay launching more larva.

The radical pastor of the Berean Baptist Church in Fayetteville, North Carolina, is largely in favor of North Carolina’s Amendment One, which is a severely anti-gay initiative that aims to write anti-gay discrimination directly into the state constitution. If successful, it would define marriage between one man and one woman as the only legal relationship allowed. Well, except if you’re Newt Gingrich, Mark Sanford, David Vitter, et all. Worst of all, Amendment One would automatically make domestic violence victims ineligible for protection orders and would go so far as to remove children from their unmarried parents’ health insurance. So get to squashing!

  Michael is a comedian/VO artist/Columnist extraordinaire, who co-wrote an award-nominated comedy, produces a chapter of Laughing Liberally, wrote for NY Times Laugh Lines, guest-blogged for Joe Biden, and writes a column for MSNBC.com affiliated Cagle Media. Follow him on Twitter and Facebook, Youtube, and like NJ Laughing Liberally Lab. Seriously, follow him or he’ll send you a photo of Rush Limbaugh bending over in a thong.

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