Reagan’s Blood For Sale, Conservatives Outraged, Hollywood Disinterested

A vial of blood, reportedly belonging to Ronald Reagan, shed during his 1981 assassination attempt, is up for sale. An online auction house is offering up the vial, with authentication, with recent bidding going over $12,000.

John Heubusch, executive director of the Ronald Reagan Presidential Foundation, is not amused by the reports, “If indeed this story is true, it’s a craven act and we will use every legal means to stop its sale or purchase.” However the seller, claims to be a fan of the late president, and believes that Reagan would have wanted him to receive free-market value for the blood.

The issue of cloning shouldn’t come up, as progressives don’t want another Reagan, conservatives hate science, and Hollywood already has plenty of below-average actors at their disposal.