Obama The Chosen One To Battle Alien Horde From Outer Space!

A young Mitt Romney is taught how to treat the family pet

We all knew this day was coming. We were warned about the threat of aliens. No, not the ones from Mexico! Only right-wing idiots quiver in fear about those; no, I’m talking about invaders from beyond the stars! They come from so far away that even Sarah Palin can’t see them from her house! They’re so advanced that not even Newt Gingrich’s Moon base can stop them!

But the people have spoken! When the ravenous alien hordes come for our women, 65% of Americans choose President Obama as our champion over Mitt Romney. Sorry, Mitt. People probably think you’ll outsource the human race to our new corporate alien overlords.

Super Obama Man, by Alex Ross, denoting the manner in which the President would save us from the Alien threat.

The poll was conducted on behalf of the National Geographic Channel which is apparently continuing its descent into conspiracy theory insanity and the results were…enlightening. According to USA Today:

The results are in: Seventeen percent of Americans don’t believe UFOs exist, 36% think they do, and 48% aren’t sure.

About 79% of those surveyed think the government has kept information about UFOs a secret from the public, and 55% believe there are real-life Men in Black-style agents who threaten people who spot UFOs.

and, of course:

•Nearly 65% think Barack Obama would be better suited than Mitt Romney to handle an alien invasion.

The author attempted to contact a real live alien life form but Ron Paul would not return his phone call.

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