Rush Limbaugh Terrified Of ‘The Dark Knight Rises’

I have the people on my side! What do you have?                                                                          All the money.

It appears that there is a conspiracy to put the secret Muslim Kenyan Barack Obama into the White House again. But never fear! Rush Limbaugh is here to save the country! Rush has seen through the nefarious conspiracy and, with his patented magic pill, Oxy-Viagra, will expose the evil-doings of that cesspool of scum and villainy, Liberal Hollywood!

“Do you know the name of the villain in this movie?” Limbaugh asked his listeners. “Bane. The villain in ‘The Dark Knight Rises’ is named Bane. B-A-N-E. What is the name of the venture capital firm that Romney ran and around which there is now this make-believe controversy? Bain.”

“The movie has been in the works for a long time, the release date has been known — summer 2012 — for a long time,” he added. “Do you think that it is accidental that the name of the really vicious, fire-breathing, four-eyed, what-ever-it-is villain in this movie is named Bane?”   

“And now there’s discussion out there as to whether or not this was purposeful and whether or not it will influence voters. It’s going to have a lot of people. This movie, the audience is going to be huge. A lot of people are going to see the movie, and it’s a lot of brain-dead people, entertaining the pop-culture crowd. And they’re going to hear ‘Bane’ in the movie and they’re going to associate ‘Bain’ and the thought is that when they start paying attention to the campaign later in the year and Obama and the Democrats keep talking about Bain — not Bain Capital — Romney and Bain that these people will think back to the bad man.”

Yes, Rush Limbaugh is convinced that a character created in 1993 by DC comics and the only villain to actually defeat Batman (he broke Bats’ back), is part of an elaborate conspiracy to make Mitt Romney lose the election by way of association.

By the way, “The bad man?” What is he? A five year old?

Now, keep in mind that the director, Christopher Nolan, already had the idea for the finale to his epic trilogy in 2008 and the idea that he knew or even had a reasonable suspicion that Mitt “The Worst Conservative Ever” Romney would be the Republican candidate in 2012 is ludicrous in the extreme. But so what? Rush’s dittoheads are not known for their ability to piece together a coherent sentence much less understand an advanced idea like “Nolan couldn’t have known.”

What makes it even more pathetic is that the roles are reversed. Batman IS the 1%. Actually, he’s one of the richest men in the world and that makes him the 1% of the 1%. He’s Mitt Romney! Except with integrity and a really cool car. Heck, Batman even has an elevator for his car. Just like Mitt! If anything, in the sad, drug addled mind of Rush Limbaugh, Bane is a surrogate for Barack Obama, that paling-around-with-terrorists criminal that is trying to destroy America Gotham and Mitt with his millions is the only thing that can save us from chaos and anarchy!

But then again, we are talking about Rush Limbaugh here and no amount of reality can invade his alternate universe where he, the rich white man, is a victim. Talk about a cartoon character!

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