It’s almost exactly four years since America experienced the political mindfuck and David Lynchian like nightmare of the century. Of course I’m referring to when 2008 Republican Presidential Candidate John McCain released the funny talking Kracken on the masses when he derided all conventional wisdom and reason by selecting Sarah Palin to be his running mate. After all, the Hillary PUMAS apparently were going to flock to this deranged mangler of syntax and winking wretch without a modicum of national experience or any real political credibility. It was an outlandishly gimmicky move, and one that actually contributed to John McCain’s loss to Obama. Worse yet, it catapulted the quitting Alaska governor to a career of media grifting and venues to spout her carefully distilled, vapid psychobabble. And here’s the real kick in the head: John McCain must still be being all maverick, because earlier today he told Politico that he didn’t pick Sarah Palin over Mitt Romney for his vice presidential candidate because of Romney’s tax return issues; he just thought Palin was the better candidate.
“Of course not,” McCain told POLITICO when asked if the contents of Romney’s tax returns disqualified him from the selection process. “I don’t know what depths these people won’t reach. Obviously, it’s just outrageous. That’s just outrageous. It shows the – it’s so disgraceful for them to allege something that they have absolutely no knowledge of.”
Asked why he chose not to go with Romney, McCain said: “Oh come on, because we thought that Sarah Palin was the better candidate. Why did we not take [Tim] Pawlenty, why did we not take any of the other 10 other people. Why didn’t I? Because we had a better candidate, the same way with all the others. … Come on, why? That’s a stupid question.” (Politico)
First of all, a betamax recorder would’ve been a more befitting choice over Palin. But unlike the betamax recorder, Sarah Palin had that homespun sexy librarian look going on without all the ever-so officious schooling and thoughtfulness. Picking such a barely existing wallflower like Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty would not have been a sexy choice and most certainly would’ve not siphoned all the unprecedented support and enthusiasm that followed Barack Obama’s appearance at the DNC in Denver. Also, Gov. Pawlenty was facing heavy criticism following the tragic collapse of his state’s bridges in Minnesota. And it’s safe to say that Romney started campaigning for the 2012 Republican nomination the second he conceded to Sen. McCain in the 2008 Republican Primary.
But according to Steve Schmidt, McCain’s top campaign adviser in 2008, the contents of Romney’s tax returns were not deemed as the problem for their campaign. Rather, Romney’s enormous wealth was seen as a political liability that McCain simply could not stomach. After all, this is when old Walnuts couldn’t seem to recall the number of houses he nodded off in during the very beginning of the great economic abortion of 2008.
” Sen. McCain got caught flat-footed answering a question about how many houses he owned,” Schmidt told the news website. “In fact, they were Cindy McCain’s properties but that distinction was lost in the political optics and we knew it would be a big liability that the presidential and the vice presidential candidates together owned more than a dozen homes. It was like something out of a ‘Saturday Night Live’ skit. I mean, come on.” (Politico)
Well it’s a good thing that the McCain campaign didn’t do anything rash that would eventually wind up as an SNL skit, and have that skit better depict the Republican VP than the VP herself.
Michael is a comedian/VO artist/Columnist extraordinaire, who co-wrote an award-nominated comedy, produces a chapter of Laughing Liberally, wrote for NY Times Laugh Lines, guest-blogged for Joe Biden, and writes a column for MSNBC.com affiliated Cagle Media. Follow him on Twitter and Facebook, Youtube, and like NJ Laughing Liberally Lab, Seriously, follow him or he’ll send you a photo of Rush Limbaugh bending over in a thong