Chick-Fil-A Impersonates Young Girl On Facebook To Defend Its ‘Biblical Morality’

Even with all its ‘safety concerns’ about create-your-own puppets, Chick-Fil-A just can’t seem to stop playing with them. They keep getting their fingers stuck in them, too. An unidentified person was caught on Facebook, masquerading as a young girl, and defending Chick-Fil-A from criticism over its bogus ‘voluntary recall’ of Jim Henson toys. Using stock photography and a profile that was only 8 hours old, young ‘Abby Farle’ took offense at the notion that the recall was payback to the Henson Company for ending their partnership with Chick-Fil-A over their corporate embrace of homophobia.

The teenagers ‘Abby’ was chatting with saw through the facade pretty quickly, even though she said all the things kids say, like “derr, ” and “John 3:16*.” Those darn teens, with their slang, and their bible quotes, who knows what they’re talking about half the time, amirite?

And sure, there’s no way of knowing just who exactly ‘Abby Farle’ really is, whether a Chick-Fil-A PR flack, or just an ally in the war to keep the ever-changing and biblically inaccurate version of ‘traditional marriage’ safe, but either way, you’d have to imagine that Jesus wouldn’t be too happy about all this lying.

* The passage John 3:16 is For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. I don’t know why ‘Abby’ thought that was relevant…I thought it might have been ‘Turn the other chick.’ Or maybe, “Where is he that is born King of Au Jus?”