The Colbert Report Report: Suicidal Hamsters, Face-Melting Heat, Commies In Love And The Flying Chinese (VIDEO)

Author: July 25, 2012 7:29 am

Who knew that Stephen Colbert hated hamsters so much? Last night’s episode opened with the stunning revelation that The Colbert Report was originally designed to “drive hamsters to suicide.” I believe PETA might have something to say about this outrage!

The Colbert Report Mon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Hamster Study Linking Late Night TV with Depression
www.colbertnation.com


The next segment started off with a bang, or rather a slow, horrible sizzle as Colbert reported on the intense heat wave masquerading as “summer” this year and how it’s going to dramatically raise the price of food across the world. It stopped being funny when Colbert’s interviewee, Bruce Babock, Professor of Agricultural Economics at Iowa State University, started talking:

Colbert: How’s the crop doing this year?

Babcock: It’s dying right now.

This was followed by a second of laughter until the audience realized that he wasn’t making a joke. Or as Colbert put it a minute earlier, “This s%^t just got real!” Colbert kept it light but the implications are unsettling: the drought in the Mid-West is damaging the corn crop and corn is the foundation of our food supply. Watch the interview here.

Following this somewhat depressing but informative segment was a little Cold War Update in which we are forced to endure treated to the love life of North Korean dictator, Kim Jong Un. Apparently he’s seeing the lead singer of the wildly popular (in North Korea and nowhere else) song “Excellent Horse-Like Lady.” According to Colbert, we are now in a Celebrity Couple Technology arms race! Katie Holmes, your country needs you!

This episode’s main interview was with James Fallows, author of “China Airborne.” China is trying to enter the aircraft building industry. They want to show that they’re a big boy country that can compete on the world stage in ways that do not require cheap manufacturing and the use of slave labor.

The aircraft industry in America is the largest export surplus and real competition might hurt us but China’s usual model of authoritarianism will not work in this case. It has to compete on the world market’s terms or it will fail. Fallows feels that this will make China easier to deal with since they MUST modify their economic and political stance to reach its goals. We should only be so lucky. Watch the interview here.

See you tomorrow for more Colbert Report Report!

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