If Captain Capitalist dodged Vietnam service (as if you’re going to get the French to stop drinking alcohol) while being for the war makes him a chickenhawk, than VP Paul Ryan’s questionable and partisan budgeting should make him a chicken budgethawk.
The Wally Cleaver (though he acts more like the sniveling, Eddie Haskel) of the Republican party is so blindly adored by the GOP that he might as well be the second coming of Reagan. After all, the well-coiffed young gun of the GOP makes Republicans actually not only tolerate Mitt Romney, but be happy about the Mitt Mannequin being their standard-bearer. As I previously wrote, only in DC and only in today’s Republican Party can a man who authored a budget that clearly places all the blame of bloated government spending on the backs of the working poor while awarding the super rich with even more tax cuts (you know, the things that didn’t create any jobs and actually ran up the deficit) be considered a superstar. Also, only can a career Republican politician who’s spent his entire adult-life in government (it takes time to destroy it) and yet consider being a fitness trainer, a waiter, and driver of the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile as sophisticated private-sector experience. With those earlier occupations, he sounds more like an aspiring actor than politician. Obviously the unbridled enthusiasm will soon calm down and the GOP will eventually consult their doctors about their priapisms, but it’s imperative to illustrates how Paul Ryan is no budget-busting hero; he’s yet another false prophet, one who’s all about Big Government for the 1% and barely existing small government that would make Somalia jealous for the rest.
At first blush, we all see Paul Ryan as being the young, prickish modern-day Robespierre who got one too many purple nurples as a teen. But upon further glance, Paul Ryan appears as nothing more than a knee-jerk, Tea Party invention who conveniently uses anti-government rhetoric out of expedience and only when it serves the financial and political ambitions of his own party. Ryan may worship Ayn Rand, but with all gods he chooses to cherry-pick her unwavering libertarian agenda when it serves him and his own party. In fact, the Tea Party seems him as an “imitation Ron Paul” (but with real eyebrows) and they still don’t want Romney as the nominee.
A nanosecond google search of Paul Ryan’s record shows him to be the very antithesis of liberty and small-government legislation.
From the Republican Liberty Caucus:
“It appears that when Paul Ryan’s party is doing the spending, raising debt limits, and acting unconstitutionally… Ryan goes with the flow. Congressman Ryan’s actual record leaves much to be desired. The issue Ryan is most known for is his interest in cutting the deficit and balancing the budget. But why did the Congressman vote to bail out the auto industry, to pass the Medicare package to the tune of $400 billion, and to nationalize education via No Child Left Behind?“
That’s right–Paul Ryan was a cheerleader for throwing tax payer money at the colossal Iraq failure, the biggest government entitlement program in Bush’s Medicare Prescription D Program, and vehemently supported the biggest form of corporate statism/welfare by voting for TARP in 2008. And for a so-called rugged individual, the free market for the elderly and socialism for the 1% prince sided with the majority of his party in 93% of House votes in which he has participated, and sided with the majority vote of all House votes 95% of the time with the 111th Congress, according to his Wikepedia page. So if the GOP is racing to make edits to Ryan’s Wikipedia page, it looks like they missed one glaring part.
So when this so-called ’gallant’ and ‘noble’ budget hawk and fiscal conservative starts talking about cutting the sprawling defense budget, then maybe it might be easier to start believing he has credibility. Otherwise, Paul Ryan is nothing more than a repackaged trickle-down, supply side, laissez -fairest puppet of anti-tax terrorist Grover Norquist. But awe shucks, Wally Cleaver is just so gosh darn dreamy!
Michael is a comedian/VO artist/Columnist extraordinaire, who co-wrote an award-nominated comedy, produces a chapter of Laughing Liberally, wrote for NY Times Laugh Lines, guest-blogged for Joe Biden, and writes a column for MSNBC.com affiliated Cagle Media. Follow him on Twitter and Facebook, and like NJ Laughing Liberally Lab if you love political humor from a progressive point-of-view. Seriously, follow him or he’ll send you a photo of Rush Limbaugh bending over in a thong.
