Crazy Texan Freaks Out Over Black Man Bagging His Groceries, Cites Religious Freedom As His Excuse

Author: August 14, 2012 4:40 pm

KKK Supermarket, Finland
Nothing to do with the Klan

With so many states, some redneck red and some more purplish, competing with Texas in the racist and homophobic department these days it’s nice to see that Texas is still king when it comes to out-and-out racist nonsense. If everything in Texas is bigger, it must mean that its racists are gigantic David Dukes.

It seems a Texan man believes letting a black man bag his groceries is a gross violation of his religious freedom and he’s not going to let this hard-working black man ruin his love affair with loving everyone and treating them according to his congenial faith. DeWitt R. Thomas filed a federal lawsuit in July against Keith Langston, owner of Two Rivers Grocery & Market, after the owner told him to leave his grocery store and never come back following a heated exchange in which Thomas refused to allow a black man bag his groceries.

Wait a minute, don’t touch my groceries. I can’t have someone negroidal touch my food. It’s against my creed,” said Thomas, according to nine-page, hand-written lawsuit (Source: Little Green Footballs).

Giving whole new meaning to frivolous lawsuits and whatever the hell “Negroidal” (sounds like an ointment for a rash) means, Hawkins claims that by ejecting him from the store, the owner explicitly violated his alleged faith.

From Little Green Footballs:

According to the lawsuit, Thomas went on to explain he meant a black person when he used the term “negroidal.”The sacker, Aaron Menefee, said he thought Thomas was just kidding around.

The first time he said it, I thought he was joking,Menefee said. “Then he just kept repeating it.

Menefee said once he realized Thomas was serious, he called for someone else to sack the groceries, at which time Menefee went to another part of the store.


“I didn’t feel physically threatened,” Menefee said. “I just felt verbally assaulted.”

Langston wasn’t in the store at the time, but his employees told him about the incident.

I decided when I heard about what happened that I was going to file a criminal trespass against him,” Langston said. “I just had to wait for him to be present so he could sign it.”

Thomas said his religious beliefs are based on Vedism, which he said encompasses Hinduism.

“Vedism translates into knowledge. I am not this way because I am ignorant. Ignorance is the enemy,” he said.

I’m certainly no religious scholar, but I’m fairly certain that Vishnu wouldn’t care if some black guy bagged his curry and veggies. Let’s hope that part of Menefee’s faith involves him smacking stupid racists upside the head.

Michael is a comedian/VO artist/Columnist extraordinaire, who co-wrote an award-nominated comedy, produces a chapter of Laughing Liberally, wrote for NY Times Laugh Lines, guest-blogged for Joe Biden, and writes a column for MSNBC.com affiliated Cagle Media. Follow him on Twitter and Facebook, and like NJ Laughing Liberally Lab if you love political humor from a progressive point-of-view. Seriously, follow him or he’ll send you a photo of Rush Limbaugh bending over in a thong.

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2 Comments

  • Good grief. As long as tea baggers like Perry remain in office Texas is going to continue living in the dark ages (or at least the McCarthy era). I’m normally proud to be a native Texan but not when shit like this happens.

    • At least this is far northeast Texas. Maybe this guy escaped from Arkansas or Oklahoma. I’m suspicious there’s also inbreeding going on in that swampy-ass part of the state.

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