Professional YouTube Screamer and Tony Soprano-like Governor of New Jersey, Chris Christie, has repeatedly shown he’s a totally unstable heaping pile of outbursts reminiscent of Nelson from The Simpsons and who shouldn’t come within 50 yards of the White House. As a New Jersey resident, our Governor makes Snookie and the entire cast of the Jersey Shore look like the Algonquin Round Table. Whether the pugnacious Governor is screaming at teachers for wanting to have a stake in their futures and the future of public education, calling an Iraqi war veteran an ‘idiot‘ for caring about a potential university merger, or wanting to take a bat to a Legislator, it’s pretty obvious that Christie is a grown-up version of the oversized bully who used to steal kids’ lunches and make them eat dirt. So it’s only befitting that the Republican National Convention planning committee selected him to headline, which has largely been not about touting any of Romney’s qualities, but rather why Obama hates freedom, babies, and small business.
Here was Christie at the RNC:
“I believe we have become paralyzed by our desire to be loved. I say enough! Let’s make a much different choice! Let’s do everything that’s necessary to make America great again! Our leaders should stop tearing each other down, and teach us to use respect over love. Impossible to cut taxes, impossible to balance budgets and do so while lowering taxes, but we did it. Our ideas our right for America and their ideas have failed America.They (Democrats) believe in teachers unions, We (Republicans) believe in teachers. It’s time to end absentee leadership in the White House.”
Although Christie’s words and tone was so much less visceral (oddly enough) and combative than every other Republican speaker, his fiery and motivating words flagrantly belied his actual actions. For example, New Jersey has the 4th highest unemployment rate in the nation As NJ Assembly Majority Leader Lou Greenwald (D-Camden) put it, “It’s clear that Chris Christie’s ‘Jersey Comeback’ is as elusive as Mitt Romney’s tax returns,” Adding, ” he’s spent so much time out-of-state campaigning for Governor Romney lately, perhaps he hasn’t noticed that the only people feeling a ‘comeback’ under Christie are the millionaires and billionaires enjoying massive tax breaks.” (NJ.com)
But much like with Paul Ryan, the MSM blindly worships Christie and eats up all of his “Do as I say, not as I do”(Christie is notorious for using public funds for his own personal use and politicizing key government agencies by inserting his own cronies) false bravado like it were pink slime while irresponsibly ignoring the man’s actual governance. As this comic/columnist previously wrote, only in DC and in today’s Republican Party can a man who authored a budget that clearly places all the blame of bloated government spending on the backs of the working poor while awarding the super rich with even more tax cuts(you know, the things that didn’t create any jobs and actually ran up the deficit) and not even poking the bloated defense budget be considered brave and serious. Similarly, only could a man who angrily denouncing public spending and implores public sacrifice while spending unjustifiable amounts of taxpayer money on meals (what else?) and hotels, taking helicopter joy rides he cannot afford, and ensuring that the wealthy (Christie’s political benefactors) get big government while the rest of us get small-government that would make Somalia envious.
In the end, Christie’s speech was essentially all about Christie’s favorite thing: himself. In short, it was nothing more than fluff and partisan grandstanding to solidify his 2016 Republican nomination. The fawning and drooling delegates at the RNC know no better than to gobble up Christie’s rhetoric like it was FDR fireside chat, but fort those of us living in the fact-filed world of reality-town, we’re not buying it.
Michael is a comedian/VO artist/Columnist extraordinaire, who co-wrote an award-nominated comedy, produces a chapter of Laughing Liberally, wrote for NY Times Laugh Lines, guest-blogged for Joe Biden, and writes a column for MSNBC.com affiliated Cagle Media. Follow him on Twitter and Facebook, and like NJ Laughing Liberally Lab if you love political humor from a progressive point-of-view. Seriously, follow him or he’ll send you a photo of Rush Limbaugh bending over in a thong.