The Politics Of Pizza – Right-Wingers Attacking Scott Van Duzer’s Big Apple Pizza After Obama Bear-Hug
Never before could I fathom in an instance where rounded wheels of grease and melted cheese would supplant political discourse in America. Then again, I also never imagined having to write about elected representatives screaming about the legitimacy of a sitting president’s long-form birth certificate years after he had been elected and during an economic shitstorm of epic proportions. But I suppose this is what happens when a beauty pageant contestant gets to be a VP nominee and somebody named Snookie has a reality show.
Leave it to Republicans to turn a seemingly innocent and candid moment of affection into a fire-breathing, insanely irrelevant non-issue of foaming-at-the-mouth partisan hackery.
Scott Van Duzer, the owner of Big Apple Pizza in Fort Pierce, Fla. and apparently the last remaining Republican with a fully functioning cerebral cortex (it’s like the political Hunger Games), became an internet sensation Sunday when he bear-hugged President Obama during a campaign visit. Now, you may think that jumping the President of the Unites States like Lenny from Mice and Men probably is not the most appropriate way of engaging the POTUS (one that’s had more death threats than any President in recent memory; even freaking Nixon!), but, obviously, the Secret Service agents were aware of it and it was clearly innocuous. That certainly hasn’t stopped right-wing screwballs from accosting Van Duzer and even sabotaging his business by posting hateful reviews on Yelp. Unless Van Duzer is the Soylent Green of pizza, it’s probably best not to malign the man and his pizza over ones’ own hateful political views.
Several negative reviews have popped up on Big Apple Pizza’s Yelp profile, featuring low, 1-star ratings and comments about the bear hug. It should be noted that these reviews come from people who have never reviewed anything on Yelp before and just saw this as a opportunity to hate on Obama , and who claim to be located in areas that are states away from Van Duzer’s pizza location. I mean, Republicans aren’t exactly famed for being geographic geniuses (arithmetic is close second in “things Republicans suck at”), but it’s highly unlikely that someone from Illinois is getting a slice. If so, then Van Duzer has the most generous pizza delivery policy on earth.
Here were some of negative Yelp reviews:
Well.. I’d eat there but after seeing the owner grab our leftist President I felt compelled to disrespect his establishment as much as the President disrespects our constitution. Shame on you Scott Van Duzer for thumbing your nose at all the small business owners this President has disrespected for the last four years. I guess you DIDN’T BUILD IT!
So the owner loves the pr stunt and is now whining about losing some customers? Sounds too stupid to be running a business in the first place… Oh, and do the only take food stamps? (Huffington Post)
Well, these folks will not be writing for Zagats anytime soon.
The Right Wing noise machine has done what it does best and taken this culinary non-issue and turned it into a divisive partisan nonissue. For example, a photo of the hug was featured as Fox News Nation’s picture of the day Monday, where 37 readers voted it “Obnoxious”, compared to second-place rating of “Funny,” which got only 17 votes. Leave it to the rabid right to turn an innocent and candid moment of congeniality into Waterloo. Apparently, when President Bush held the hand of a ruthless oil sheikh, it was a sweet and innocent moment of human affection but hugging President Obama is tantamount to treason.
Michael is a comedian/VO artist/Columnist extraordinaire, who co-wrote an award-nominated comedy, produces a chapter of Laughing Liberally, wrote for NY Times Laugh Lines, guest-blogged for Joe Biden, and writes a column for MSNBC.com affiliated Cagle Media. Follow him on Twitter and Facebook, and like NJ Laughing Liberally Lab if you love political humor from a progressive point-of-view. Seriously, follow him or he’ll send you a photo of Rush Limbaugh bending over in a thong.