Personhood Amendment Would Be A Boon For The Private Prison Industry

Illegal immigration is down and after forty years people seem tired of the War On Drugs so where will the private prison industry find a new demographic to literally capture? Hint, they’re over half the population and they’re the only ones capable of getting pregnant. Yes, you guessed it, women. Personhood amendments state that an egg has exactly the same rights as any other citizen from the second it’s fertilized. If one of these amendments were actually passed, it would mean a lot of new murderers for companies like CCA, the “job creators” who established the private prison industry back in 1983, to house.

The National Abortion Foundation says that, If current rates continue, it is estimated that 35% of all women of reproductive age in America today will have had an abortion by the time they reach the age of 45. The prison industry probably couldn’t count on getting that kind of conviction rate because women with the means would be able to go to Canada for safe and affordable medical care but that still leaves the poor, and that’s their core constituency anyway. And birth control would be the real cash cow. Almost every woman in America today has used hormones for family planning or other medical reasons at some point in their lives.

The science is a little murky on whether eggs are actually fertilized when hormonal birth control is used but Republicans have never let any pointy-headed intellectuals get in their way before so taking the pill would probably be considered murder as well…And you know what that means…Cha-Ching! Tax payer dollars will be pouring in to punish those whores. The P.R. campaign will probably be the most delicate part of the business expansion. Mothers and sisters and daughters being locked up for years, maybe even life, would be bad enough but the death penalty option would be exceptionally difficult.   It’s hard to spin the story of a seven-year old who’s watching his mother’s execution by lethal injection. And publicizing the ultrasound photo of his three-day old little sister Tonya, a tiny round white dot on the black landscape, isn’t going to cut it.