Rush Limbaugh, the world’s most impotent man, took to the airwaves to discuss a very serious and important scientific breakthrough that not even noted scientist Rep. Todd Akin could discover: feminists (or ‘feminazis’ as Rush calls them) are responsible for the current outbreak of shrinking male genitalia. If anyone knows about defunct and flaccid penis issues, it’s Rush Limbaugh.
It seems an Italian study found that the average male penis was 10 percent smaller than 50 years ago, though it must not apply to former Congressmen from NY. Regarding the factors that lead to embarrassing “a group of cheerleaders laughing at you” shrinkage, it appears as though weight gain around the waist, smoking, stress and environmental pollutants are all contributing factors. But this commie pizano science wasn’t going to fool prominent scientist Limbaugh. Again, tiny penises is one issue over which Rush has the most authority.
“I think it’s feminism,” he declared. “If it’s tied to the last 50 years — the average size of [a male's] member is 10 percent smaller than 50 years — it has to be the feminazis, the chickification and everything else.”
“Give ‘em time and they’ll blame Bush. But air pollution vs. feminazis? Ha!”(Raw Story)
Hear it for yourself here:
Chickification? That either sounds like a hilarious medical disorder where one believes that they are an adorable chicken, or a ridiculous excuse from a severely sexually frustrated and angry white guy just upset that his member has always been smaller than midget actor Troy Vern’s pinky. As far as blaming George Bush, he’s more in the business of causing significant shrinkage to robust and over sized surpluses. But it’s so comforting to know that Rush Limbaugh is out there fighting the all-important penis issues weighing on Americans minds this election.
Michael is a comedian/VO artist/Columnist extraordinaire, who co-wrote an award-nominated comedy, produces a chapter of Laughing Liberally, wrote for NY Times Laugh Lines, guest-blogged for Joe Biden, and writes a column for MSNBC.com affiliated Cagle Media. Follow him on Twitter and Facebook, and like NJ Laughing Liberally Lab if you love political humor from a progressive point-of-view. Seriously, follow him or he’ll send you a photo of Rush Limbaugh bending over in a thong.