Oblivious Narcissist Sarah Palin Advises Romney And Ryan To ‘Go Rogue’ To Win

Sarah Palin, refusing to take a hint that she is about as popular as jock itch with the GOP after being snubbed by the RNC, decided to share her Recipe For Success with Romney and Ryan: Go rogue!

Of course, knowing Palin, this is probably just as much about getting attention for being an outspoken and no-nonsense Superconservative (well, “no-nonsense” in Palin’s opinion; obnoxious, strident and clownish in almost everyone else’s opinion)–and moving more units of her self-satisfied and self-promoting (and definitely ghost-written) book, “Going Rogue,” piles of which are languishing in markdown hell in every bookstore chain in the country–as it may have been about offering some actual useful advice (well, “useful” in Palin’s opinion; gratuitous and laughable in almost everyone else’s opinion).

As reported by the Weekly Standard on September 22nd, Sister Sarah said:

“With so much at stake in this election, both Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan should ‘go rogue’ and not hold back from telling the American people the true state of our economy and national security. They need to continue to find ways to break through the filter of the liberal media to communicate their message of reform. America desperately needs to have a ‘come to Jesus’ moment in discussing our big dysfunctional, disconnected, and debt-ridden federal government.”

“At the founding of our country, a great American patriot wrote, ‘If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child may have peace,'” says Palin. “Obama‘s motto seems to be, ‘Let the good times roll in my day. The kids can deal with the catastrophic bankruptcy in theirs.’ That’s no way for the leader of a great nation to behave, and I hope Paul Ryan and Mitt Romney continue to call him out on it. Generations of American children are counting on them.”

Palin also snarked that “it is nothing short of appalling that President Obama couldn’t even remember how much our national debt is during his interview with David Letterman the other night”. As a writer at The Moral Minority points out, “Actually the President knows all too well what the number is today; however, the question he was asked was what was the size of the debt when he took office. And his answer was he did not remember what the number was “precisely.” Not quite the same thing now is it? […] Epic Fail, Klondike Kardashian!”


Um, you guys…Romney isn’t doing so well. Obama is thrashing him in the polls in eight out of nine swing states (North Carolina remains in the pocket for Romney, so far, by a slight edge). He inserted his big, fat foot in his big, fat mouth during recent troubles in Libya, and may well have endangered American lives by doing so. As Bipartisan Report notes, Romney is a big, fat bag o’ FAIL, and prominent conservative mouthpieces, pundits and Republican politicians alike are trashing him left and right.

Weekly Standard editor William Kristol from the Weekly Standard–though he threw in a gratuitous crack about Obama supposedly pandering to the 1% just as much [citation needed]–called Romney “stupid and arrogant” after a video of Romney at a fundraising dinner for the 1% surfaced and showed the candidate being thoroughly dismissive about “the 47% who [allegedly] do not pay federal taxes.” It is worth noting that the 47% number is flawed, and that the group he roundly insulted in front of a room full of $50,000-per-plate diners includes active military, the disabled, dependent spouses and children of active military personnel and disabled persons, those who work but do not earn enough salary to owe any money to the IRS, and the destitute.

President Reagan’s former speechwriter Peggy Noonan told the Wall Street Journal that “it’s time to admit the Romney campaign is an incompetent one.” She later had second thoughts and clarified her opinion: “I called it incompetent […] only because I was being polite. […] I really meant ‘rolling calamity.’” This made FOX News‘ Chris Wallace very, very sad indeed, and he openly questioned Noonan’s “conservative bona fides.”

Bloviating anal cyst Rush Limbaugh complained that “every Democrat under the sun’s retweeting [Romney’s latest gaffes] all over the place” and is very upset that other conservatives who, in Limbaugh’s opinion, should support Romney unquestioningly, “have bailed on him.” Don’t worry, Mitt! Rush is still your BFF. Pay no attention to the hordes of advertisers dropping Limbaugh like a flaming bag of dog poop.

Conservative candidate Tommy Thompson complained that Romney’s failure to thrive in the polls was hurting all other Republicans running for office. Darn you, Mitt! You’re ruining it for everyone!

At The Drudge Report, even faithful conservatives (well, PRAGMATIST might be — gasp! — a ringer) failed to be excited or to hide their despair about Palin horning in on political events (again!):

NORTHGUY3: “Remember me? I used to be somebody!” On the bright side, SARAH!! will no longer be associated with the worst GOP team in history.

ICHIRO: What a kook.

PRAGMATIST: Hilarious. If the truth of national security were known, RWers all over the country would explode, knowing that the commie secret Muslim fascist is better at it than their hero, George W. Bush.

DANNI: “Hey, I helped John McCain lose in a landslide so my advice is really valuable.”

CALIFCHRIS: Yeah, Mitt and Paul, be sure and listen to Sarah! for campaign advice. We’ve all seen how Mama Grizzly’s political career has flourished in the last couple of years.

PRAGMATIST: Oh, no, no, Calif. You just don’t get it. Gov. Palin (Ret.) made a conscious choice, dontcha know, to be a kingmaker rather than a king, er, queen. It’s all part of her brilliant master plan. Salmon, you know, gotta swim against the current. Or something.

EBOLA: Ugh, I hate my party.

It just breaks your heart, doesn’t it? Oh, poor EBOLA, don’t feel so sad…we hate your party, too! Let’s bond! I’ll order a pizza!

Meanwhile in Oligarchistan, Ann Romney is having a tantrum about how totally hard running for POTUS is, y’all, while poor ol’ Mittens just doesn’t understand what the BFD is. On September 21st, Romney was interviewed by CBS News and insisted that his campaign is simply super, thanks for asking, and “doesn’t need a turnaround.”

Yes, Sarah Palin’s words of wisdom are just what Mittens needs to fix his failing campaign…once he actually admits he’s not kicking ass and taking names, but, instead, failing harder than Crystal Pepsi.

I am sure Romney will be grateful for Palin’s advice…if he doesn’t have to ask “Sarah who?”

 


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