Romney Camp Sends Out Memo Explaining Why He’ll Lose The Debates

“You don’t need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows.”–Bob Dylan

According to a memo released to “interested parties” by Romney adviser Beth Myers, you don’t need a crystal ball to know who will win the presidential debates; Hell, you don’t eve need to watch. It’s Barack Obama, by a landslide. In a new twist on the on the old adage, the best defense is a good offense, the Romney campaign has already declared Obama the victor, but will tell you the game doesn’t matter.

Owing to their their rather sudden assessment that the President is “widely regarded as one of the most talented political communicators in modern history”, they’ve already conceded the battle, if not the war. By Myers’ own admission, public sentiment also regards the debates — which don’t begin until next Wednesday — as a done deal: “Voters already believe –- by a 25-point margin –- that President Obama is likely to do a better job in these debates.”

Here’s the memo in full:

From: Beth Myers, Senior Adviser
To: Interested Parties
Date: September 27, 2012
Re: 2012 Presidential Debates

In a matter of days, Governor Romney and President Obama will meet on the presidential debate stage. President Obama is a universally-acclaimed public speaker and has substantial debate experience under his belt. However, the record he’s compiled over the last four years – higher unemployment, lower incomes, rising energy costs, and a national debt spiraling out of control – means this will be a close election right up to November 6th.

Between now and then, President Obama and Governor Romney will debate three times. While Governor Romney has the issues and the facts on his side, President Obama enters these contests with a significant advantage on a number of fronts.

Voters already believe – by a 25-point margin – that President Obama is likely to do a better job in these debates. Given President Obama’s natural gifts and extensive seasoning under the bright lights of the debate stage, this is unsurprising. President Obama is a uniquely gifted speaker, and is widely regarded as one of the most talented political communicators in modern history. This will be the eighth one-on-one presidential debate of his political career. For Mitt Romney, it will be his first.

Four years ago, Barack Obama faced John McCain on the debate stage. According to Gallup, voters judged him the winner of each debate by double-digit margins, and their polling showed he won one debate by an astounding 33-point margin. In the 2008 primary, he faced Hillary Clinton, another formidable opponent – debating her one-on-one numerous times and coming out ahead. The takeaway? Not only has President Obama gained valuable experience in these debates, he also won them comfortably.

But what must President Obama overcome? His record. Based on the campaign he’s run so far, it’s clear that President Obama will use his ample rhetorical gifts and debating experience to one end: attacking Mitt Romney. Since he won’t – and can’t – talk about his record, he’ll talk about Mitt Romney. We fully expect a 90-minute attack ad aimed at tearing down his opponent. If President Obama is as negative as we expect, he will have missed an opportunity to let the American people know his vision for the next four years and the policies he’d pursue. That’s not an opportunity Mitt Romney will pass up. He will talk about the big choice in this election – the choice between President Obama’s government-centric vision and Mitt Romney’s vision for an opportunity society with more jobs, higher take-home pay, a better-educated workforce, and millions of Americans lifted out of poverty into the middle class.

This election will not be decided by the debates, however. It will be decided by the American people. Regardless of who comes out on top in these debates, they know we can’t afford another four years like the last four years. And they will ultimately choose a better future by electing Mitt Romney to be our next president.

You have to hand it to Ms. Myers. She polished up the pile of excrement she was given as well as possible under the circumstances. And what are the circumstances?

  • Mitt Romney can’t debate on his ideas, because he won’t tell us what they are. Romney has been pressed repeatedly to offer specifics on policies he’d bring to the oval office, but he’s been consistently vague. If he has a plan more substantive than, “It’d be awesome if I were president,” he hasn’t shared it. And it’s a good bet he won’t do so in the debates. Myers’ memo hopes to shape public opinion in advance, so that when Romney pleads the fifth in the debates, we’ll think he’s being victimized by a “90 minute attack ad.”
  • Mitt Romney is an incredibly poor public speaker. He’s boorish and he has a terrible sense of humor. He either doesn’t understand or can’t stick to the script. And truth be told? He comes off as a pompous, over-privileged jackass.
  • Nobody really likes him. From his fake Twitter followers to his crash and burn ‘Goodwill tour‘ over the summer, it’s clear that people just don’t like Mitt Romney. Not even Republicans really like him. He became the nominee simply because he started running in 2007, and has been running ever since. Mitt Romney just outlasted everyone else in the 2012 field of Republicans contenders, almost all of whom were every bit as bad an idea as Mitt.

Political pundits will tell you this a good strategy: If you say your guy is going to lose big, if he does at all well, you can claim it as victory. Conspiracy fans might theorize the Romney people are trying to get the President’s guard down, and then sandbag him with some sort of surprise revelation. And in any other year, I’d say they might have a point. But really, as anyone who has been watching this campaign for any length of time can tell you, they are really just trying to cushion the blow, for when an erudite man of convictions and ideas makes their candidate look like a fool in comparison.

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