A Redistribution Of Wealth Lesson From Glenn Beck-Funded Patriot Camp Re-Imagined

In this month’s GQ Lauren Bans travels to Pennsylvania to observe a Patriot Camp for kids sponsored by Constitutional Champions, a group partially funded by Glenn Beck. The following is one of the educational games they suggest:

An excerpt of the lesson plan for “Redistribution of Wealth” from Constitutional Champions’ Patriot Camp Handbook, Volume 1: Basics of Freedom:

• Divide group in half. One half “earns” Tootsie Rolls by doing 25 jumping jacks.
• The other half is not required to do jumping jacks, but can relax or do what they want.
• Teacher suggests that it’s “not fair” that one group has no Tootsie Rolls, so instructs “Jumping Jack” group to give half of their Tootsie Rolls to the other group.


• Emphasize that America guarantees equal opportunity not equal results.
• Emphasize that it is our own individual responsibility to be charitable, not the government’s job to redistribute our wealth, or take our money to give to others.

If conservatives are going to start indoctrinating kids with this kind of propaganda maybe liberals should follow their example and start their own camp with lessons like this:

  • Divide group in half. One half gets pile of Tootsie Rolls for being born rich.
  • The other half is required to do 25 jumping jacks in order to earn 1/16 of a Tootsie Roll from the rich who acquired 16 Tootsie Rolls by profiting from their labor.
  • Teacher suggests that it’s “not fair” that one group started out with nothing, so instructs rich group to give one Tootsie Roll to poor group for basic needs and pay a living wage of 5 Tootsie Rolls for 25 jumping jacks so they will have even a chance of starting their own sit-up or push-up company someday.
  • Emphasize that America guarantees equal opportunity not equal results so the rich will have to let go of one or two Tootsie Rolls so poor children will at least have a chance to improve their lot in life.
  • Emphasize that patriotism means caring about your fellow Americans and not just yourself so it is government’s duty to make sure that all citizens have the bare minimum needed to have any chance of attaining the American Dream of prosperity and success.

Selfishness or compassion, which lesson would you choose for America’s children?

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