30 Really Lame Republican Excuses For Losing The Election

Republicans suck at math. They can’t figure out polling. They can’t figure out that pandering to only around 25% of the populace, the white and the bigoted, isn’t going to win them elections.

The Republican whine fest since losing the Presidential election on Tuesday has been a source of amusement to many on the left. They’re scrambling; trying to figure out why it happened. Where did they go wrong? Michael Hammond at RedState.com thinks he has the answer. Actually 30 of them, to be exact. Since it would probably be called plagiarism for me to copy/paste his post into mine, I’ll simply interpret his 30 reasons. You can read them for yourself, if you’d like. In fact, I’d recommend it.

  1. The Democrats picked Mitt Romney. Republicans would have won with Sarah Palin or Newt Gingrich. Huh?
  2. Only conservative Republicans win – the first example, Nixon. The word “conservative” has changed so dramatically that the environmentalist Richard Nixon would still have been to the left of Romney. Argument: FAIL
  3. Republicans in Congress should have shut down the government and stopped funding the IRS in case they want to fine people for not paying Obamacare premiums. Sorry but Obamacare’s mandate doesn’t kick in till 2014. This one’s just dumb.
  4. Paul Ryan voted to fund Obamacare during the campaign. Okay, I sort of get how this could piss some Republican voters off.
  5. Some rambling passage about Obamacare and the debt ceiling. 
  6. Congress didn’t hate on Obamacare enough. 
  7. Romney invented Obamacare. Duh.
  8. Mitch McConnell doesn’t love guns enough. Harry Reid does.
  9. Job-Creators don’t create jobs. Okay, he didn’t say that, exactly, but he did say the term was terrible.
  10. Obamacare and taxes. Blah blah blah.
  11. They didn’t go negative enough. I’ll let you ponder that one.
  12. Democrats are mean to Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann (who would supposedly cut into the Democratic base, if given a chance), but Republicans aren’t mean enough to Joe Biden. 
  13. Mitt Romney didn’t give giant bear hugs to Todd Akin and Richard Mourdock.
  14. Abortion doctors are evil and Obama burns babies in China. 
  15. Romney was pro-choice (or something).
  16. Republicans tried too hard to appeal to pro-choice, female Democrats. Huh?
  17. Mitch McConnell was mean to Todd Akin. 
  18. Republicans overestimated the amount of influence the unemployment rate would have on the election. He’s right.
  19. They forgot to tell people that Obama’s the reason they don’t have a job. Oh, and that he’s done a lot of historical things. Or maybe he meant that Obama’s black.
  20. Being a business man isn’t enough and Romney’s an arrogant jerk. I gotta agree with him here.
  21. Mitch McConnell forgot to make sure the Senate only voted on God, Guns and Gays.  
  22. John Boehner wasn’t obstructionist enough. 
  23. Boehner didn’t throw away more resources on Fast and Furious.
  24. They didn’t talk about the fact that Obamacare gives free abortions to everyone. Because it doesn’t.
  25. They don’t hate on John Roberts enough. Cause, you know, he didn’t overturn Obamacare.
  26. Something else about Obamacare.
  27. Romney flip-flopped on Obamacare. 
  28. They dropped the ball after the first debate. 
  29. “Libya, Libya, Libya” didn’t work. I could have told you that.
  30. Obama’s a nice guy. Only he’s not a nice guy. He’s actually an arrogant, socialist, Kenyan, Maoist, fascist, communist and Republicans forgot to tell all the stupid people who thought he was a nice guy. 

I really have to wonder if Hammond witnessed the same election I did. Mitt Romney lost because Republicans have no ideas. They tried to alienate more than 50% of the population. Their candidate was a stiff-as-a-board plutocrat and, most importantly, Obama is, and has always been, the moderate most of the country is looking for.

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