Religious Crazies Say The Darndest Things – Especially After Obama Won (VIDEO)

ArmageddonThe ultra-religious right-wing — you know, the people who think God talks back to them — are in a bit of a crisis right now. God, it seems, didn’t listen to their prayers. The black guy is back in the White House for four more years, and God might have even helped him along; if you believe all the people that blame Hurricane Sandy on the Sky Man, God really has turned his back on them by throwing the President an opportunity to be — well– Presidential.

For those of us who get our perverse giggles and grins out of watching the so-called holy folk twist themselves in and out of knots trying to explain away the fact that maybe they don’t have the Big Guy’s ear, the last couple of days have been a lot of fun. Grab some popcorn. The holy rollers are taking us on quite the ride.

I couldn’t start without talking about our good friend, James Dobson. You know, the Focus on the Family guy. It seems that he and his cabal prayed that the President would lose and guess what? God said, “no!”

Transcript from Right Wing Watch:

Dobson: Many, many, many Christians were praying and we really need to address that issue first: where was God? Because there were these ’40 Days of Prayer,’ there were several of those that took place, where people fasted and prayed for forty days asking the Lord for His intervention on Election Day. We did a program last week where my wife Shirley came in with her vice-chairman John Bornschein and told how three hundred Gideon prayer warriors came to Washington, went to every single office of the House of Representatives and the Senate and prayed for the occupant, prayed for our representatives, went to the White House, went in a vigil to the Supreme Court, which is now at great risk, and went to the Pentagon. People like that were praying all over this country and the Lord said no.

Nance: He said no.

Dobson: Because we lost this election does not mean that the Lord has turned His back on us. I think this is a time of judgment but those of us who are trying to serve Him and defend the things that He has taught, may yet see Him act. He said no this time but who knows what will happen in the future. Nobody knows.

Nance: Nothing is too big for God. God can use this President just like He can anyone else, and He has throughout history used people who were not believers and were not followers of the Lord or followers of the God throughout the Bible to do his work, so we will pray to that end and trust the Lord knows what He’s doing, but I’m already looking ahead to 2014.

Franklin Graham, Billy’s even crazier son, thinks that Americans haven’t suffered enough. God, he said, will punish our UnGodly ways by collapsing our economy.

Graham equated the Obama years with a national rejection of God. “In the last four years, we have begun to turn our backs on God,” he said. “We have taken God out of our education system. We have taken him out of government. You have lawyers that sue you every time you mention the name of Jesus Christ in any kind of a public forum.” Oddly, Graham ignored the fact that he and other shepherds of the Christian right have griped about such matters for much longer than four years. It didn’t start with Obama.

As Graham denounced the Obama years, Newsmax‘s Kathleen Walter asked, “So we’ve become too secular a nation? How do we bring God back into government?” Graham replied:

“Maybe God will have to bring our nation down to our knees—to where you just have a complete economic collapse. And maybe at that point, maybe people will again begin to call upon the name of almighty God”.

Keep in mind, of course, that this man who claims to speak for God can’t even get the President right.

Virginia GOP Official Bob FitzSimmonds has a sense of humor about it, sort of. He posted on Facebook that Obama was going to live to the ripe old age of 90, but would go to hell and blame Bush. 

According to FitzSimmonds, it’s just a joke. It’s not really about his President going to hell. “My Facebook post was not about Obama going to Hell,” he said. “It was about his obsession with blame shifting and I don’t really see anything inappropriate about it.”

Okay, I can buy that it’s a joke, but allow me to add that Bush might have created Hell, but Obama will be expected to turn it into Heaven. Nope, that’s not funny either. Let’s leave the Hell jokes to the professionals.

We can’t top off our crazy religious sandwich without a good ole’ slice of Bryan Fischer and his version of Americana…baseball and terrorism. According to Fischer, the fact that we haven’t had a terrorist attack on our soil (if you conveniently exclude all the mass shootings over the last several years) since 9/11, is because we sing “God Bless America” at some baseball games.

And I’ll leave you with that video:

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