As we prepare to thank all the birds who bravely accommodated themselves to the fattening of our equator-like American waistbands, to commemorate how the Dallas Cowboys and the Detroit Lions energized the esprit de corps of vertical food distribution, it’s important to acknowledge the bigger picture. And that picture is to all the voters of Maine, Washington, Maryland and Colorado for vigorously supporting some very common sense issues of humanity and ignoring all the right-wing christofascist bat sh#t.
Voters in Maine, Washington, and Maryland voted en masse in support of marriage equality and allowing gays the right to be just as miserable as the rest of us. After all, if Kim Kardashian and Newt Gingrich get to do it there isn’t any more possible damage that come to it.
Better yet, the Associated Press is reporting that Maine, Maryland, and Washington state are all on the verge of massive economic windfalls and major booms in travel and in the hospitality business on the account of the passing pro-same sex marriage laws. So being fabulous is actually good for the economy and small business, which creates quite a dilemma for Republicans: that is, do the let their hateful invisible spaghetti monster contradict their love affair with capitalism and so-called fondness for small-business, or will they actually enter the 21st century and eschew hilariously obsolete religious dogma that has no place in a supposedly secular society. As someone with a gay family member, I can only hope this new-found reason and forward-thinking among the electorate reaches the state of New Jersey and beyond.
In Colorado, mile high city finally lived up to its name and decided that prohibition sucked in the 20s and it sucks even harder now (unless you’re a corrupt DEA rep, banker or cartel) and passed Amendment 64 — the measure seeking the legalization of marijuana for recreational use by adults for adults. So while other states were declaring that marriage is not a traditional bond between a man and a woman, the forward-thinking folks of Colorado were declaring marriage a bond between a man and his/her bong.
A64 will allow adults 21 and older to purchase up to one ounce of marijuana from specialty marijuana dispensaries and grow up to six marijuana plants in their homes. Possession is limited to up to an ounce for personal use, but selling marijuana without a license, purchasing marijuana from a party who is not licensed as well as public use of marijuana will remain illegal, according to an article from the Huffington Post.
Republicans are always screaming about state’s rights, and state’s rights don’t get any stronger than A64. We can only hope that President Obama respects the will of the people and doesn’t sick his attack dog, Eric Holder, on Colorado . It should be noted that Obama has been an awful president when it comes to medical marijuana and personal cannabis freedom and, despite saying he would “lay off” the medical marijuana dispensaries, his Attorney General has brazenly ran raids on many a medical marijuana dispensary. Indeed, the ‘audacity of hope‘ has been the ‘audacity of nope‘ when it comes to dope. Perhaps that explains why law enforcement community members are imploring President Obama to take a very laissez-faire approach to the new law of the land in Colorado, which could only help Obama since he could use state’s rights and new federalism–an issue near and dear to libertarian Republicans–against them. The passing of this historic amendment will create tons of new jobs (not just Tommy Chong t-shirt sales), bring in millions of added revenue to a cash-strapped state, and make a lot of responsible adults more happier than usual. We can surely expect ratings for Dr. Who to reach unprecedented levels.
So between the enthusiastic embrace of marriage equality and the legalization of small amounts of marijuana for recreational use, there’s nothing but thanks to go around for all the voters in Maine, Washington, Maryland, and Colorado.
Michael is a comedian/VO artist/Columnist extraordinaire, who co-wrote an award-nominated comedy, produces a chapter of Laughing Liberally, wrote for NY Times Laugh Lines, guest-blogged for Joe Biden, and writes a column for MSNBC.com affiliatedCagle Media. Follow him on Twitter andFacebook, and like NJ Laughing Liberally Lab if you love political humor from a progressive point-of-view. Seriously, follow him or he’ll send you a photo of Rush Limbaugh bending over in a thong.
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Author: Michael Hayne Follow Michael on Twitter andFacebook, and like NJ Laughing Liberally Lab if you love political humor from a progressive point-of-view. Seriously, follow him or he'll send you a photo of Governor Christie in a speedo. Michael is a comedian/VO artist/impressionist who co-wrote a feature length award-nominated film, contributed to NY Times Laugh Lines, guest blogged for Joe Biden, appeared in Nat Geo's Drugged: High on Marijuana (where apparently he battled herbal terrorists), contributes humorous commentary to MSNBC.com affiliated Cagle Media and NewJerseyNewsroom, and wrote for Huffington Post, Reality Check, and for FireDogLake.com's "Just Say Now" Marijuana campaign (But if you're Eric Holder and reading this, my name is actually Alex Jones).