We’re now in week two of Fox News’ imaginary War on Christmas, which, being imaginary and all, means that it’s finally a war they won’t dodge. Despite the fact that Rockefeller Center looks like Santa Claus’ prostate exam and despite the fact that Christmas is actually a Pagan holiday borrowed from a hodgepodge melange of Nordic traditions and actually banned by the Pilgrims, the right-wing noise machine is under the hilariously mistaken belief that secularists hate baby Jesus. Further, those lying, soulless atheists are the world’s most influential group of people.
Nothing screams tolerance of others quite like announcing your desire to punch a group of people–albeit metaphorically–who simply believe in the constitution. Well, that’s precisely what Christian radio host, Matt Barber, had to say regarding an atheist group trying to prevent a Michigan man from erecting a nativity scene on public land.
“You know, what do you do with a bully?” he explained. “If a bully keeps getting his way and intimidating kids on the playground and nobody stands up for themselves then the bully is encouraged and emboldened and continues to bully more and more people. But when a little kid is being bullied and he turns around and punches the bully in the mouth — metaphorically speaking, of course — then the bully is oftentimes proven to be a paper tiger.” (Raw Story)
Hell, yeah! Now let’s go run over Atheist Grandma with our suicide bomber reindeer to prove a hopelessly misguided point! That will show them that the Christian god is a loving and compassionate being. Metaphorically speaking, of course.
Barber is angry after the Freedom from Religion Foundation lobbied the County Road Commission in Michigan to deny John Satawa a permit to place his nativity scene in a public median on grounds that it violated the separation of church and state. The action eventually turned into a federal lawsuit, and the United States Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit ruled earlier this year that Satawa could display his nativity.
“The Freedom from Religion Foundation is trying to recreate an America in their own secular, humanist, self-image,” said Barber. (Raw Story)
As they say, the first causality of war is the truth, and the truth is that the Christian Taliban are the only ones fighting this so-called War on Christmas. I urge everyone to send Barber a “Happy Holidays” card, and I’m not speaking metaphorically.
Michael is a comedian/VO artist/Columnist extraordinaire, who co-wrote an award-nominated comedy, produces a chapter of Laughing Liberally, wrote for NY Times Laugh Lines, guest-blogged for Joe Biden, and writes a column for MSNBC.com affiliated Cagle Media. Follow him on Twitter and Facebook, and like NJ Laughing Liberally Lab if you love political humor from a progressive point-of-view. Seriously, follow him or he’ll send you a photo of Rush Limbaugh bending over in a thong.