1. Dog Dissing Romney: The above image — featuring a dog peeing on a street sign placed by a Mitt Romney supporter — pretty much sums up the 2012 Presidential Election in a nutshell. Revenge must be sweet for the poor dog who ran away after being forced to ride on the roof of Mitt Romney’s station wagon for the duration of a long and terrifying family road trip.
2. Rick Perry, 2012’s first casualty in the GOP Presidential Candidate: After a year’s worth of over-the-top gaffes which made this once-promising politician look even dumber than a certain other former Texas governor, and a poor showing in the Iowa Caucus on January 3rd, Rick Perry announced, “I will return to Texas and determine if there is a path forward in this race.” He then formally conceded later that month. Meanwhile, eCards’ old-fashioned simplicity, vintage illustrations, and easily customized designs provided a fun platform for generating memes.
3. Michele Bachmann bites off more than she can chew: The normally photogenic Tea Party contender also dropped out of the race on January 4th, following lackluster results from the Iowa Caucus, a highly unflattering photo while chomping into a phallic corn dog at a county fair, and a controversial November 2011 cover photo for Newsweek,which earned her the nickname “Crazy Eyes.” Unlike so many memes — in which photographs spawned a million words — this image stands on its own and has rarely been embellished.
4. John Huntsman realizes he can’t compete amongst the crazies: The former Utah Governor and ambassador to Singapore and China finally figured out that his relative braininess and moderate politics — plus the fact that he doesn’t really speak “fluent Mandarin” as claimed — disqualified him as a GOP presidential candidate and he dropped out of the race on January 15th.
5. Happy Super Tuesday! The Romney clan shares a special moment: Freudian slip much? The above image of Mitt Romney’s family members wearing T-shirts emblazoned with letters, and lining up on stage to spell his name at a March 6th Super Tuesday rally, became easy fodder for parody. Whether or not this image was Photoshopped, it aptly proves the old adage, “a picture speaks a thousand words.”
6. Santorum finally stops ‘spreading santorum’ around: Shortly after confidently proclaiming his intention of “covering the electoral map with Santorum,” and giving Romney a run for his (R)money, the anti-gay, anti-choice, pro-sweater vest, far-right extremist conceded the GOP’s top spot to his rival on April 10th.
7. But I’m not dead yet … or maybe I am: After three marriages, numerous scandals, dwindling campaign funds, lackluster polls, and the orchestration of the GOP’s coup and fading stranglehold on Congress, the famously hypocritical former speaker of the House with the disproportionately large head — and his frighteningly plasticine new wife — finally stepped down on April 26th. Let’s pray that this is the end of Gingrich’s presidential runs and that we never have to hear from him again.
8. Did anyone know he was still running?: On May 15th Congressman (R-TX) and perennial Presidential Candidate Ron Paul made a non-concession speech announcing that although he couldn’t win the GOP nomination, he wasn’t dropping out either. The staunchly small-government Libertarian’s once-stellar reputation for integrity, fiscal conservatism, and social liberalism also took some hard hits: first when Anonymous revealed Paul’s ties to a neo-Nazi group back in February, and more recently, when a meth lab bust revealed the shady sources of much of Paul’s campaign financing.
9. O Canada!: Remember how hilarious it was when the Supreme Court upheld Obamacare on June 28th and those crazy teabaggers started threatening to move up to Canada to escape socialized medicine?
10. Mittens shows his diplomacy chops … Not: On July 27th, less than a month after the teabaggers migrated to Canada, then-GOP presidential front-runner tootled across the pond to demonstrate his foreign policy skills and promptly managed to offend our allies in Great Britain, Poland, AND Israel.
11. Luckily, we had Hillary Clinton on board to clean up!: The above is one of the many “Texts from Hillary” memes circulated by our outgoing Secretary of State’s fans promoting how cool, competent, and bad-ass she is…in hopes that she’ll run for Obama’s job in 2016.
12. The rape nuts start yakking: It all started with Steve King (R-IA), who bizarrely ranted against proposed federal legislation that would ban dog fighting because “we need to respect humans more than we do animals”; indignantly inquiring why dogs aren’t allowed to fight when it’s supposedly legal for sexual predators to rape a hypothetical 13-year-old girl, “haul her across the state line, and force her to get an abortion to eradicate the evidence of his crime.” During his August 7th show, Stephen Colbert gasped indignantly, “What?! That’s not against the law??? Why not?? Maybe Congressman King should do something about that! (audience applause) What? What? I’m being told that all of that is against the law? Well, bravo, Congressman, fast work.” He then lambasted King with a scenario of his own: “I guess all Steve King is saying is not to judge him for having impregnated that dog, and then taking it across the border for a forced abortion to protect the world from his monstrous glassy-eyed man puppies.”
13. … And now the Rape-publicans can’t STOP: First Representative Todd Akin (R-MO) attempts to distinguish “legitimate” rape from “illegitimate” rape and loses his bid for Senate; then former GOP presidential candidate Mike Huckabee attempts another fine distinction between “forcible” and “non-forcible” rape; while King, Missouri Republican Party Committee-woman Sharon Barnes, and Congressman and former Vice Presidential Candidate Paul Ryan try to soft-pedal not allowing abortions under any circumstances by referring to pregnancy from rape as a “circumstance,” “a gift from God,” and a “method of conception.” In addition, Indiana State Treasurer Rob Mourdock lost his Senate race with his singularly insensitive remark describing rape-induced pregnancies being “something that God intended to happen.”
14. The face launched a thousand memes: On August 11th, the then-GOP presidential front-runner announced that Representative Paul Ryan (R-WI) — basically Sarah Palin with a penis — would be his running mate. Unfortunately, Ryan’s appeal to the GOP’s hard-line, neo-conservative base didn’t make up for Romney’s lack of appeal to … um … anybody.
15. A stormy GOP convention: As Republicans — and Hurricane Isaac — turned towards the GOP convention, an interesting new weather map began circulating.
16. Truth in advertising: And the GOP was inadvertently caught telling the truth for once.
17. The empty chair: And Mittens is so unlikeable, that on August 30th, he was overshadowed at his own presidential nomination by a doddering old man and an empty chair.
18. The Etch-a-Sketch candidate: With a shake of the Etch-a-Sketch, Romney morphs from a “severe conservative” to a pragmatic problem-solver.
19. Bubba’s back!: On September 6th, beloved former president Bill Clinton warms up his chilly relationship with President Obama — and Democratic convention attendees — with a rousing and memorable speech.
20. Presidential Debates: We know Obama was having a bad day during the First Presidential Debate on October 3rd when Mitt Romney’s willingness to make tough decisions like firing Big Bird made him look more presidential by comparison. Fortunately, the President got his groove back for the last two debates, which focused on Romney’s “binders full of women,” and the reduction of “horses and bayonets” in the U.S. military.
21. Vice Presidential Debate: On October 12th, incumbent Veep Joe Biden made up for his boss’ lackluster performance the previous week by totally kicking Ryan’s PBX-toned, neo-con, supply-sider butt to Kingdom Come. Go Joe!
22. Election Day: Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall … and all Karl Rove’s spinners, and all Karl Rove’s men couldn’t cheat Rove’s man into the White House again.
23. … and we felt hopeful again: Though perhaps some Americans felt a little conflicted.
24. And the Donald was proven right: Because even a broken clock is right twice a day!
25. Et tu, Anne?: And Anne Romney secretly heaved a sigh of relief.
|Elisabeth Parker is a writer, Web designer, mom, political junkie, and dilettante. Come visit her at ElisabethParker.Com, friend her on facebook, or follow her on Twitter.|