Steven Colbert has done it again. He loves his guns, and like most gun owners, he wants reasonable restriction of guns. However, he is a bit afraid that he may have his guns taken away if it weren’t for the fact that there’s never been a move by President Obama to take them away. He feels totally defenseless against this non-action if it weren’t for the fact that he has his guns. But, he still feels defenseless.
He goes on to point how how scary things got this past week when he learned that Vice President Joe Biden was appointed to head a gun safety task force. It’s so frightening that he called him Reich Marshall Biden. What exactly is Biden marshalling? He’s convening meetings where there will be recommendations, and perhaps even some Power Point presentations. If there’s one way to frighten gun advocates, it’s the use of facts in the form of charts and graphs. Present them in the format of a Power Point presentation, and the whole thing goes to hell.
Luckily, Colbert was comforted by the rational folks who have a reasonable response to gun regulation. Who better than Yosemite Sam, Wayne LaPierre, and Sheriff Joe Arpaio to help keep things rational and reasonable? Read on as he explains why these three comfort him. Surely, it will comfort other gun huggers, too.
Ladies and Gentlemen, (Yosemite) Sam is not alone. Standing with him is NRA head Wayne LaPierre, who in the wake of unimaginable tragedy put forth a simple plan to reassure our troubled nation. Yeah, just put armed officers in every school in the nation. They can work it into the prom theme – Enchantment Under the Siege.
Folks, Patriots like Arizona sheriff Joe Arpaio are already implementing LaPierre’s vision. Thank God. Because nothing reassures parents more than surrounding their kids with the kind of guys who have a lot of weapons and nothing to do on weekdays. These are the kind of reasonable solutions that we need instead of blaming the real victims – guns.
Colbert goes onto explain why guns are the real victims. Former NRA president Marion Hammer so elegantly explains how the targeting of assault weapons is really a form of discrimination. She states:
Banning people and things because of the way they look went out a long time ago, but here they are again. The color of a gun, the way it looks.
Colbert illustrates his point further with video clips of Wayne LaPierre explaining where blame should really be placed – violent video games, and the lack of a national database of the mentally ill. Colbert states that it surely can’t be the guns that are causing the United States to have far more gun deaths than other industrialized nation. He points out that surely it must be because we’re the only country that has violent video games, violent movies, and of course, crazy people. He walks back a bit saying that perhaps we’re not the only nation with those things, but that we surely have the craziest people. To illustrate his point, he shows another clip of LaPierre.
“If its crazy to call for putting police and armed security in our schools to protect our children, then call me crazy.”
To end the segment, Colbert finishes in his usual fashion. He turns the whole argument around, and says of LaPierre that he is f^*#&d in the head. We all knew he’d come to his senses and realize that the NRA and the gun nuts are just too crazy to participate in common sense discussions on gun control. Hats off to you, Mr. Colbert!
Here’s the video: