LA Adult Film Stars Declare First Amendment Freedom From Condoms (Seriously!)

Let freedom ring!

Let freedom ring!

Measure B (not to be confused with Plan B) was voted into law this past November and the adult industry refuses to take it lying down! The new law states that male adult film stars are required to wear a condom while … ahem … working. As anyone who watches Cinemax adult films will tell you (not that I know any such people), condoms on screen kind of kill the mood, so to speak. Apparently, America prefers its rubber inflated:

Do not try at home.

Do not try at home.

The counterargument to this trojan war is … the First Amendment. Yes, according to the adult film industry, their, ahem, body of work is a “constitutionally protected expression.” I’ve heard of wrapping yourself in the Constitution but never UNwrapping! The industry claims that the law will harm the manhood livelihood of over ten thousand actors and various other employees (as well as the Windex/paper towel industry).

This is clearly one of those times that the Founding Fathers utterly failed to anticipate how the Constitution would be interpreted. That’s probably for the best.

The idea of Measure B is to reduce the spread of HIV but, according to the planitffs:

“Measure B is unnecessary, as the adult film industry already has strict requirements in place to protect its performers,” the complaint states. “Measure B’s claims to the contrary are unsupported and inaccurate. Measure B’s requirements also tread into an area that is the exclusive provenance of the California Department of Health and Human Services, and its Division of Occupational Safety and Health, and is thus pre-empted.” Source:

Rumors of a film based on the case have been widely circulated (by me). Casting calls for the judge are already under way:

We're looking for a broad range of emotions...

We’re looking for a broad range of emotions…

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And, no, I could not stop giggling like a 12 year old while writing this.