How many mind-bogglingly ridiculous things can a person say in just three minutes and fifty-eight seconds, without jabbering at high speeds like an auctioneer? I counted at least 10 during Ann Coulter’s Monday appearance on Faux News’ Sean Hannity Show. Skankzilla didn’t even wait five seconds before dropping her first bomb, as she breathlessly informed Hannity that she had “just got back from England. At least they have not bought into this whole diversity enthusiasm.” Um … ‘diversity enthusiasm?” Is she referring to the fact that 86% of Great Britain’s residents are white? If so, Coulter must not have visited London, where only 59.8% of people are white.
But of course, Coulter isn’t here to chat about her jaunt across the pond. She want to say more stupid crap about guns. Like, did you know that our affirmative action programs are to blame for the United States’ ridiculously high gun murder rate (20 times the average of other developed nations)?
“If you compare white populations, we have the same murder rate as Belgium … So perhaps, it’s not a gun problem, it is a demographic problem, which liberals keep pushing, pushing, and pushing.”
So let’s blame all the gun murders on our liberals and our non-white populations! Why bother addressing the issues surrounding gun culture when we can scrub our statistics squeaky clean by simply not counting 47.6% of our population? According to the 2011 figures from the US Census Bureau, only 63.4% of people in the US report themselves as non-Hispanic whites — as opposed to the 89% white Walloons and Flems inhabiting Belgium (some of the remaining 11% who reported themselves as “mixed/other” may also be “white”). According to The Guardian, the US ranks #28 in the world, with a firearms murder rate of 2.97 per 100,000 people. You can’t even compare this — as Ann Coulter does — with Belgium’s low rate of .6 per 100,000, but at least we rank favorably against our fellow third world nations like Honduras, El Salvador, and Jamaica.
Hannity then steers the “discussion” (if one can call the shrill, continuous siren of Coulter’s rantings occasionally punctuated by Hannity’s approving murmurs a “discussion”) towards a new topic: The 19 executive orders being considered by the White House to reduce gun violence if he can’t get Congress to do anything. “What happens if he tries to bypass congress” and “shreds the constitution” to unilaterally enact gun control, or — horrors! — raise the debt ceiling. But Coulter reassures her host that “even Obama wouldn’t do that.” Funny how conservatives can’t stand the thought of our Democratic president (only half of whom is part of the US’s “white population”) unilaterally preventing mass shootings, but had no problems with their white, Republican President George W. Bush unilaterally invading Iraq and slaughtering its citizens under false pretenses. But, with a magical dash of CoulterLogic, we can just count the non-Iraqi whites, and voila! We hardly killed anyone in that war!
And of course, this wouldn’t be a Coulter/Hannity conversation without throwing in an irrelevant but obligatory false equivalence comparing mass gun murderers to women having abortions. Since she doesn’t think Obama will ban guns outright — he’ll just “do it on ammunition and ban clips” — Coulter says the next Republican president shouldn’t ban all abortions, “he can just ban abortionists, and abortion clinics.”
And how about New York State’s new gun legislation, which prohibits firearms with more than seven bullets? Only seven bullets? That’s not NEARLY enough! An outraged Hannity demands, “I don’t know what you do in New York … What? You arrest people that use eight bullets in a home invasion?” Coulter concurs, and adds that “like all liberal solutions, this has nothing to do with the problem we’re supposed to be addressing.” Is she really saying that guns have nothing to do with gun violence? Yes, I’m afraid she is. Coulter then praises Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) for packing heat (she has a conceal and carry permit), but excoriates her for hypocritically supporting gun control legislation. And this — alone out of everything I’ve ever heard from Skankzilla — does make sense. “I support her in that, she was in danger; so are other Americans,” raves Coulter, who doesn’t mention that we’d be in less danger if we had fewer paranoid nutcases and US senators running around with concealed weapons.
And of course, Coulter plays on people’s fears and conjures up the barely subliminal, looming specter of rape. “The fastest growing group of gun owners are single women. What are women supposed to do, who are in danger?” These conservatives just can’t stop talking about rape. Why can’t someone send them all care packages with sex toys and the soon-to-be sticky pages from Atlas Shrugged‘s train tunnel scene with Dagny Taggart and John Galt, and have done with it? Coulter then lathers herself and her audience up into a hysterical froth, as she zestfully re-imagines a recent home invasion in Georgia, which ended when a terrified mother huddled in a closet with her two young children shot the intruder in the face five times with a .38 caliber revolver. Many gun proponents have used this story to support their pro-gun arguments. Unfortunately, the statistics don’t bear this out. According to a study from the University of Pennsyvania, people with firearms in their homes “were 4.5 times more likely to be shot and 4.2 times more likely to be killed than unarmed victims.”
Coulter then argues that guns aren’t really dangerous. Although the woman shot the intruder “five times in the face,” Coulter indignantly shrieks, the man “not only lived, he lived to flee in a car!” The run-away crazy train of Coulter’s deranged thoughts finally derailed after a terrified Hannity ended the interview while muttering, “I’ve gotta run!”
Here’s the video:
|Elisabeth Parker is a writer, Web designer, mom, political junkie, and dilettante. Come visit her at ElisabethParker.Com, “like” her on facebook, or follow her on Twitter. For more articles by Elisabeth, click here.|