Thank You Sir, May I Have Another: GOP Montana Rep Wants Criminals To Be Spanked

Author: February 1, 2013 5:12 pm

So you know how conservatives really need to apologize to homosexuals for bringing shame to the phrase Teabagging? Well, it seems they’re also going to have to apologize to the S & M community for bringing shame to spanking.

GOP Montana Rep. Jerry O’ Neill is actually sponsoring a bill that would give felons the option of receiving a spanking over incarceration. Further, the legislation would cover not just misdemeanor crimes, but also felonies. After all, why should just petty grocery thieves get to have all the fun. In fact, it appears the bill requires that the “exact nature of the corporal punishment to be imposed” be directly related to the severity and nature of the crime committed. So while some petty criminals could be hoping for a spanking, they may just wind up with a simple nipple twist.

“The measure is already raising eyebrows and is sure to catch the attention of those on the lookout for ‘bat crap crazy’ legislation this session,”wrote a reporter who covers Montana legislation for the Great Falls Tribune. Adding “Republican leadership has been doing its best to tamp down any potential bills the other side might use to embarrass the GOP as they work to craft a budget. This one apparently didn’t get tamped.” (Think Progress)

It gets better, though. Since Montana is a mostly place to shoot things or yourself, life can get pretty monotonous. So its politicians are apparently big fans of shock humor.

“Montana legislators draft bills just to get an effect from the people, but  unfortunately, it kind of makes some of them look bat-crap crazy,”said then Gov. Brian Schweitzer (D) in a 2011 interview.(Think Progress)

Go home, Montana–you’re drunk.

For the record, O’Neill is pretty notorious for challenging Ron Paul for the role of Grandpa Simpson. For example, he recently requested to have his legislative salary in gold and silver, wrongfully interpreting a provision of the U.S. Constitution that prevents states from minting their own paper currency. After all, why should bat-crap crazy just be a national problem from Republicans.

 Michael is a comedian/VO artist/Columnist extraordinaire, who co-wrote an award-nominated comedy, produces a chapter of Laughing Liberally, wrote for NY Times Laugh Lines, guest-blogged for Joe Biden, and writes a column for affiliated Cagle Media. Follow him on Twitter and Facebook, and like NJ Laughing Liberally Lab if you love political humor from a progressive point-of-view. Seriously, follow him or he’ll send you a photo of Rush Limbaugh bending over in a thong.


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1 Comment

  • Having lived in Montana, I’m not surprised. Nothing like being cooped up in your house for weeks during sub-zero weather to “modify” one’s mind.
    But personally I like the idea, especially since the inevitable Republican will be on the receiving end of the paddle.

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