So, the Nuge was on Pete Santilli’s online show and, boy, did his mouth run on. Santilli, a conspiracy theorist of the highest order, let Ted ramble on about some of his favorite things over the phone. First topic: Nugent’s “healthy lifestyle.”
“You see, I never poisoned my body. My parents taught me that my gift of life is embodied in the sacred temple. So no drugs, no alcohol, no tobacco and no fat chicks. Stuff will kill you, Pete, I’m telling you, it’s deadly. But I have been known to chew on a Cuban, that’s a cigar. I wouldn’t chew on a Cuban, they haven’t figured out personal hygiene yet. But I do chew on a cigar once in a while when I shoot my machine gun around the camp fire.” (source)
Here’s the video:
Apparently his parents never taught him good manners, though. And his claim that he didn’t use drugs was belied in an interview with Rolling Stone wherein he admitted to snorting crystal meth as part of his effort to stay out of Vietnam. Nugent went on to attack one of his favorite targets, President Obama, calling him a “Nazi” (man, they love that one, don’t they? Too bad they have no grasp of what it really means) and saying that the President “pretended to show respect and honor” at the Vietnam Memorial on Veteran’s Day.
“If you can’t see through the dishonesty and the scamming of this president with that scenario fresh in your mind, then that’s literally like, I guess that would be like, I don’t know, a German in 1938 pretending to respect the Jews and then going home and putting on his brown shirt and forcing his neighbors onto a train to be burned to death.”
Not that Nugent deserves any respect or honor when it comes to that chapter of our nation’s history. No, Terrible Ted managed to weasel his way out of serving in that conflict by using his pants as a toilet for a week before he went in for his physical. And he boasts about this while saying it was the military’s loss. Oh, but he would have made such a great army man, he says. But he just “wasn’t into it” and was too busy “doin’ my own thing.” You know what? There were thousands of young American men who were also trying to do their own thing but they answered the call to duty. They weren’t cowards like Nugent.
Yet here he is, on the NRA’s Board of Directors, trying to stir up paranoia about his guns being taken away. Nugent buys into the ridiculous Sandy Hook conspiracy theory, claiming on his website that an assault weapon was not used in the attack. No, despite the report released last week, he maintains that the Sandy Hook shooter used handguns exclusively. I guess his math skills are as non-existent as his courage.
Teddy also ragged on film maker Michael Moore, saying that he would have “punched him in the throat” if he had been present for Moore’s infamous interview with Charlton Heston. That scene, in Bowling For Columbine is one that drives the gun crazies right over the brink. Easy enough for Ted, since he’s always on the brink anyway.
I won’t try to hide it: I think that Ted Nugent is a despicable human being. He talks a big game and is the big-time hunter when it comes to shooting pigs from a helicopter with a machine gun. But when it comes time to actually be brave, you’ll find him cowering in a corner in his shit-encrusted pants, vomiting on himself between snorts of crystal meth. Ted Nugent is nothing but a braggart and a bully. Even as a “fat chick” I know that I am worth 100 blowhards like Nugent. Men like him, men who make real men do the actual defending of our country, are worthless.
T. Steelman is a life-long Liberal. She has been writing online about politics since 2007. She lives in Western Washington with her husband, daughter, 2 cats and a small herd of alpacas. How can anybody be enlightened? Truth is, after all, so poorly lit…