Fox News Does What Florida Refused To Do: Give Allen West A Job

Allen West seeing the light at the end of his retirement tunnel; image@HuffingtonPost

Allen West seeing the light at the end of his retirement tunnel… Fox News!

Omigod, remember when I was talking about Allen West the other day and mentioned that he clearly needs a job, what with boredom obviously driving his conjured conspiracy theories and breathless attempts to create ‘scandal’ with nary a shred of logic or evidence? Allen West Attempts To Be Relevant By Leaping Into IRS/Tea Party Story With Claims Of Conspiracy, that one?

Well, it turns out there’s some big news on that front and I knew you’d all want to know:


Yes, and not just any gig; he’s not working at the local car dealership, teaching English as a second language to Florida community college students; putting his military training to good use at the gym’s boot camp class… no, he’s doing what every red-blooded, out-of-work, recently-unelected, bored-to-tears-but-still-with-a-mouth-that-roars Republican retiree does: HE’S GOING TO WORK AT FOX!! (I know I’m using lots of caps but this is BIG stuff!)

Yes, the very place that opened its arms and pocketbooks for such GOP ex-luminaries as Sarah Palin and Dick Morris (both of whom were then summarily fired), Karl Rove (who was fired and is now hovering to make commentary when there’s a broadcast hole to fill), Herman Cain (who didn’t even win his big election to lose later and then get the gig), and now the former Republican representative from the red state of Florida that voted his ass out, Allen West, in a new no-doubt-to-be-fired-later-we’ll-be-counting-the-days position at the notorious channel of ‘fair and balanced’ (yes, ‘ironic’ quotes).

Fox News’ Bill Shine said in a statement obtained by The Washington Post, “Representative West’s congressional and military experience along with his fearless approach to voicing key issues will provide a valuable point of view to the FOX News lineup.” [The Huffington Post]

“Fearless approach to voicing key issues.” Or, as sane people say, “a bat-shit crazy man who doesn’t know when to shut his pie hole.” Yep. Perfect fit.

Prior to wrangling this gig at the holding tank for retired Republicans, West was making a fool of himself on Facebook, making a fool of himself regarding ‘Benghazi flu’ accusations, even making a fool of himself blaming his election loss on cheating. Now he can funnel all that foolishness into one place and make a fool of himself regularly with the inane, bloviating, fact-challenged, decorum-deficit fools at the cable channel dressed in GOP clothing.

Strap on in, intelligent Americans; Mr. West’s Wild Ride is about to begin.



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