You Have To Wonder About A Guy Who Keeps Trying To Criminalize Oral Sex

shocked girl

The Virginia Republican candidates just keep bringing the crazy. E.W. Jackson, the candidate for Lt. Governor, has been a sideshow unto himself since he became the GOP candidate, with his views on slavery, evolution and other nonsense. Today it’s Ken Cuccinelli’s turn in the nutjob spotlight.

Mr. Cuccinelli has a background that is pretty extreme, even for a Republican. His book, The Last Line of Defense: The New Fight for American Liberty, which was released in February, highlights his nonsensical views on provisions of the Affordable Care Act. Sex-ed? Abstinence-only, of course. Despite the studies which show that it is responsible for the rise in teen pregnancy and STDs. He is anti-abortion and anti-contraception, as most morons are who can’t understand the connection between the two. Overall, his positions are regressive.

So it’s really no surprise that Cuccinelli’s ideas on sex itself are outdated and patronizing. This becomes even more apparent when we see what he has asked of the Supreme Court:

Cuccinelli wants the court to reconsider a March 2013 decision by the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 4th Circuit striking down the state’s “crimes against nature” statute. The 4th Circuit ruled that the law did not pass muster in light of the Supreme Court’s 2003 Lawrence v. Texas decision, which struck down the latter state’s anti-sodomy law as an unconstitutional criminalization of Americans’ sexual conduct. The Virginia law, however, remained on the books.

Cuccinelli wants that law reinstated because he thinks that it is “an important tool that prosecutors use to put child molesters in jail.” Pardon me but isn’t there already a Virginia law against child molestation? It shouldn’t matter what a pedophile does: the fact that s/he is molesting a child in the first place is surely enough to prosecute. Why ask for an additional law that will impact those who aren’t pedophiles when the law already deals with the issue?

The case of William Scott McDonald is ostensibly the impetus for Cuccinelli’s request. McDonald solicited a 17-year-old girl for sodomy and was convicted in 2005 under the oral/anal sex law which the 4th Circuit later overturned as unconstitutional as it was too broad. The Court did leave the possibility of the Virginia legislature could pass a law specifically prohibiting sexual contact between a minor and an adult, which would help as the age of consent in Virginia is 17, but Cuccinelli ignored that. One can only assume that this is not the actual basis for his request. Must be that he wants to be able to imprison them awful gay people, even though he swears he will only use the law for child molestation cases. Uh-huh. Sure. We are supposed to believe that from a guy who said:

“My view is that homosexual acts—not homosexuality, but homosexual acts—are wrong. They’re intrinsically wrong. And I think in a natural law-based country it’s appropriate to have policies that reflect that…They don’t comport with natural law.”

Besides, when a bipartisan group of state Senators tried to pass a law to deal with the problem of adult-on-minor non-consensual sex in 2004 Cuccinelli, a state Senator at the time, blocked that effort. So I think we can be pretty sure where he’s wanting to take this law if it were reinstated. But I think that he, like most conservative religious types, has not thought this through. Looking at this graph will illustrate why:

sad chart for the cooch

Do the men of Virginia realize that Cuccinelli wants to criminalize their blow jobs? Or the women that he wants to make cunnilingus a felony? Looking at that chart, I don’t see any differentiation between Republicans and Democrats but, going from what we know about men in general, they all seem to enjoy oral sex. I’m pretty sure that includes the males on the Supreme Court. If I were a woman in Virginia, I’d be organizing a Lysistrata-like moratorium on BJs if Cuccinelli succeeds in his petition to be able to define what kind of sex adults can enjoy. I’d start with his wife.