Ted Nugent Says He’s Seriously Thinking About Running For President… Seriously

Ted Nugent: I am like my pants ... full of shit.

Ted Nugent is considering a run for President of the United States and, no, this isn’t a joke. Or is it?

Unfortunately, Nugent is serious. According to Washington Post Magazine, the conservative gun-nut and loudmouth expressed his interest in being the Republican candidate for 2016. His slogan? “Hi, I’m Ted Nugent. I have nine children from seven women, and I’m running for president.”

Isn’t that just wonderful? For Democrats. Of course, conservatives would probably back him. After all, Republican party politics has taught us that the crazier you are, the higher in rank you climb, and Ted Nugent is one of the most insane Republicans out there. But he’s a complete nightmare if you’re one of the few serious mainstream Republicans who still believe the party can shake the rampant extremism that has been plaguing it. But just how far could Nugent go?

Frankly, a Nugent presidential run is laughable. Even if he were to win the primary, he would have no chance to win a national election and he would be the final nail in the coffin of what’s left of the GOP. This is a man who admitted in a 1977 interview with High Times Magazine that he crapped his pants for a week and did meth to dodge the Vietnam War draft. This is a man who, despite having conservative views against fathering children out-of-wedlock, has three kids from two different non-marriage relationships. According to Spin Magazine, this is a man who became the legal guardian of a teenager in 1978 so he could marry her Woody Allen-style. This is a man who is also a deadbeat dad, and was ordered by a judge to pay $3,500 a month in child support for a child he had out-of-wedlock in 1995. This is a man who thinks we should have used nuclear weapons on Iraq. Not only that, Nugent has sexually harassed a female CBS News producer on the air and called for punishing the poor for being poor. And remember how Rush Limbaugh called a woman a “slut” on the air and has been soundly rejected by listeners and sponsors alike? Well, Nugent has also done that too… except worse.

In short, he’s the perfect representation of today’s Republican party but he would be the greatest thing to ever happen to the Democratic party if he were to actually run for president. The Republican party primary battles would be a circus that would surpass even the insanity of the previous ones in which the likes of Rick Santorum, Newt Gingrich, and Michele Bachmann were involved. Ted Nugent would be the craziest one of all. So, could this happen? Nugent admits that he probably won’t win but he also thinks he should try on behalf of the many fans and extreme conservative voters who are apparently asking him to run. And to that, I say please, Ted. Please run for president. Make that Republican party primary the biggest circus of all-time. Not only would you help Democrats win big once again, you’d be entertaining us in the process, making the GOP a bigger punchline than it already is.