Tina Fey Alert: Sarah Palin Is ‘Considering’ A Run For The Alaska Senate (AUDIO)

SarahPalin running again

Sarah Palin polled highest as a GOP candidate for the seat. We should either feel very sorry for Alaska or figure they’ll get just what they deserve. Image @ SDGLN

It was a cold, dark day when liberal pundits, journalists, bloggers and comedians heard the news that Michele Bachmann was leaving Congress. There have been few who have given so much to the annals of inanity as Miz Bachmann and so it was with deep regret that we … had … to … just … let her go. Particularly when we haven’t seen much of her Silly Sister, Sarah Palin, to help offset the ditz deficit.

Well, glory days and hallelujah, it looks like maybe, just maybe, she of the poofy pomp, pencil skirts, Randy Jackson glasses and strangled syntax is headed back to the limest of lights: Sarah Palin is “considering” a run for the Senate (with emphasis on the word “considering”). She spoke to Sean Hannity on his July 9th radio show, a clip of which was happily shared by uber right-wing Media Research Center site, NewsBusters (whose mission statement is the irony laden “exposing and combating liberal media bias”), and while the Newsbusters’ transcript captured the gist, below is my own transcript from the audio, inclusive of the introduction which speaks volumes about the delusional nature of right-wing radio:

Hannity: “You know, I kinda missed you. You haven’t been on in a while and I’m, like, did I do somethin’ to make you mad, uh, uh, you know ’cause I do, I do piss people off and I was just hopin’ it wasn’t you.”

Palin: (giggle, giggle) “No, it’s good, it’s good to be back … and I really, really missed your audience. I think they’re the smartest people in the world… listening to you, Sean.”

OK, I gotta stop right there for a second. Sean Hannity’s listeners are the “smartest people in the world???” Oh, ring my bell, look at what we’ve got to look forward to! But let’s continue… Sean gets into the meat of the interview by asking her if the rumors are true, that she’s thinking of getting involved in a third party:

Palin: “It’s certainly not my first choice. The Republican Party is the Party of Lincoln and Reagan, and the planks in the platform are right for this country. I stand strong on those planks. I just wish that more of our leadership, the movers and shakers within the Party, would stand strong on those planks with the rest of us … those who want to, uh, stop Barack Obama’s transformation of America. And the way we do that is by staying true to our principles. Now, those who are kind of capitulating, and caving, and giving in to Obama and what the lamestream media would want from politicians? It gets frustrating and it tempts one to believe that if they in the Party abandon us, we have no other choice. But it’s a first choice to go there.”

Ugh… Palin putting Lincoln in any category in which she exists is a little gut-churning. While she’s certainly correct that he was a Republican, the party then was a very, very, very (how many time can I say “very?”) different party than the Republican party of today; that needs to be stressed for our younger readers.

Let’s go on… we still haven’t gotten to what she’s “considering.”

Hannity: “There’s been talk that you might run for Senator in Alaska. Have you considered that at all?”

Here it comes….

Palin: “I’ve considered it because people have requested me considering it, but, um, eh, I’m still waiting to see, you know, what the lineup will be and hoping that, there again, there will be some new bloods (I honestly think she said “bloods,” plural), new energy, not just kind of pickin’ from the same old politicians in the state that come from political families that have sort of [unintelligible] up there for so many years because too many of them have been part of the problem, but I’m glad you brought that up because Senator Mark Begich has got to be replaced. He has not done what he promised to do for the people of Alaska — ” 

Wait. Gotta stop again. The two highlighted parts must be addressed:

1. “I’ve considered it because people have requested me considering it.” Just have to share a grin at Sarah’s expense: that line is such a ripe example of the mangled verbiage she employs so freely and, seemingly, without awareness; the exact sorta fun fodder the aforementioned comedians and writers eat up. Think of what’s to come if she runs …!

2.  “He has not done what he promised to do for the people of Alaska — ”  ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? Did you, Sarah Palin – you who left office as governor of the great state of Alaska mid-term because you were tired of all the political messiness of governing and wanted to to go off to be a “lamestream media” star, a “reality show” hound; a ghostwritten “who are we kidding, I didn’t write a word of this” book ‘author’?? You’re really going to make any kind of statement about anyone anywhere “not doing what he promised to do” as a politician?? The hubris and hypocrisy of that is almost beyond comedy and strays into a level of denial that, as much as I’d enjoy the Game of Skewering Senator Sarah (that made me choke a little to say), makes me realize I think too highly of the state of Alaska to wish her upon them again, in any capacity.

So anywho, she carries on about how Begich is “on the wrong side of the aisle’ and therefore incapable of doing anything good for anyone (I’m paraphrasing). Sean, however, is less interested in her pontification on what’s wrong with Begich and drags her back to the sexier issue of whether or not she’s going to run to replace this wimpy little Democrat:

Hannity: “If you think that whoever is running doesn’t have the ability to win, and you think you could, would that propel you into the race, do you think?

Palin: “Well, I think any American with a heart for service has to always have in the back of their mind that they would do anything, everything that they could to help the cause even if, perhaps, it is something that doesn’t look necessarily appealing or necessarily fitting in with a conventional plan that they would try to orchestrate for themselves and their family. I along with anybody would have to say that I would do whatever I could to help. And if that was part of that help, then it would have to be considered.”

Which is a long and rambling way of saying she just might run.

And in a May poll by Harper Polling, Miz Sarah Palin, she of the abandoned governor’s office, the failed vice-presidential race, and the feeblest of reality TV careers, polled highest amongst three other potential candidates (she got 32 percent; the rest was split amongst the other three) for the Republican primary of Alaskan Senate.

Which means we should either feel very, very sorry for the citizens of Alaskan or realize they’ll get just what they deserve if they willingly vote her back in. Either way, someone alert Tina Fey.

Here’s the audio of the interview: