GOP ‘Student Protection Act’ Would Punish Schools For Banning Imaginary Gun Play

Child's hand forming pretend gun. Texas' 'most conservative' congressman introduced a bill that would block federal funding to schools that won't let kids play with pretend guns. Seriously.

Texas’ ‘most conservative congressman’ introduced a bill that would block federal funding to schools that won’t let kids play with pretend guns. Seriously. Image from Lipstick Alley.

We all know how much Republicans love their guns, but Congressman Steve Stockman (R-TX) takes his love of the Second Amendment to a whole new extreme. “The most conservative congressman in Texas” recently drew criticism for his July 4th Bushmaster AR-15 give-away, which he brashly announced on his website as follows: “I’m giving away a Bushmaster AR-15! Grab this gun before Obama does!” (the page has been taken down, but is quoted on Politix). And today, Stockman is, erm, under fire for introducing legislation that would stop federal funding for schools with policies that prohibit students from playing with pretend guns. Yep, you’ve read this right. HR 2625, also known as The Student Protection Act, seeks to defend school children’s Second Amendment rights to bear imaginary arms!

Representative Steve Stockman (R-TX) has introduced a bill that would defund schools that punish children for playing with pretend guns.

Steve Stockman, the “most conservative congressman in Texas.” Photo from

Pete Kasperowicz reports from The Hill that our crazed congressman is outraged by the “zero tolerance policy at some schools that has led to several suspensions of very young children who engage in these activities, including cases where students pretended their thumb and index finger is a gun.” Furthermore, these supposedly harsh and politically correct policies are “traumatizing” a new generation by outlawing “harmless expressions of childhood play,” and teaching kids to “be afraid of inanimate objects that are shaped like guns.”

What? You mean we shouldn’t be afraid of objects that are shaped like guns? And our party-pooping, do-gooder liberal public school teachers and administrators shouldn’t discourage children from pretending to shoot one another? After all, shooting people is just wholesome, all-American fun for the whole family. The nerve of these ‘politically correct’ miscreants. Stockman even cited three examples of youngsters who’ve had the misfortune of experiencing these allegedly abusive policies:

  • 14-year-old Jared Marcum was suspended from his middle school in Kentucky for refusing to change out of — or even reverse — his pro-NRA T-shirt. Yet Logan Middle School had a ban on all controversial slogans and images, not just pro-gun T-shirts. To reduce conflict and violence amongst students, many schools prohibit clothing and accessories with political slogans and gang colors. Many even require students to wear uniforms. Until now, school dress codes and uniforms were supported by many conservatives.
  • 7-year old Alex Evans was suspended from his elementary school in Loveland, Colorado for playing a game that involved repeatedly throwing an imaginary hand grenade. This definitely seems over-the-top, but the school does have a clearly stated rule that prohibits any weapons, real or play. Also, several sources — including HuffPo and SFGate — hinted that there may be more to the story than meets the eye, and that the school’s principal may have been withholding information to protect the boy’s privacy.
  • Two first grade schoolboys from Maryland got suspended for one day, after getting caught playing a shoot-em-up game of “cops and robbers” during recess, infuriating both sets of parents.
  • Another boy from Maryland was suspended from school after chewing his PopTart into the shape of a gun. At a local GOP fundraiser, the then-seven-year-old Josh Welch received a standing ovation and a $550.00 life-long membership to the National Rifle Association.

Gee, do you think last December’s massacre in Newtown, CT and this year’s rash of children killed in accidental shootings have anything to do with what Stockman views as morbid over-sensitivity on the part of teachers and administrators in our public schools? Now, I do understand that playing with sticks, pretend weapons, and imaginary guns is a phase that many children — especially boys, but girls too — go through. Just because kids point and shoot pretend guns at one another doesn’t mean they’re bad kids. Then again, that doesn’t mean we need to just let them do it, either. Children “normally” do all sorts of things that are not tolerated in school settings (many of which I won’t mention here, but which definitely put the “gross” in “gross motor skills”). Getting suspended from school for a day or two is a far cry from the cruel and extreme punishments meted out back in the old days (when humiliating students with dunce caps and slapping hands with rulers was appallingly common). And a day or two away from their teacher and classmates could definitely get the message across that guns — even imaginary ones — are deadly weapons which should never be taken lightly.

Related articles from Addicting Info: