This is why you just have to love so much of what passes for right-wing thinking in 2013. Call it the Fred Flintstone Effect. Yesterday, Ken Ham, President of “Answers in Genesis,” a staunchly conservative Christian group, released a brief radio spot claiming that dinosaurs are being used to “indoctrinate children.”
As Mr. Ham sees it, this is part of a plan hatched by paleontologists to trick innocent youth into believing the theory of evolution.
Well, you may be able to fool some people all of the time, and other people some of the time; but you can’t fool Ken Ham. God, Ham insists, created all living creatures on the same day, “about 6,000 years ago.”
Fortunately, when it comes to all of America’s impressionable children, Ham is not alone in his position. Accelerated Christian Education (ACE) is also on the job. Until recently, in one of their most popular biology texts they noted:
“Are dinosaurs alive today? Scientists are becoming more convinced of their existence. Have you heard of the ‘Loch Ness Monster’ in Scotland? ‘Nessie’ for short has been recorded on sonar from a small submarine, described by eyewitnesses, and photographed by others. Nessie appears to be a plesiosaur.”
See how simple science is kids! If Nessie is real—and dinosaurs aren’t extinct—then, evolution is a myth. God, it all makes such perfect, right-wing sense.
You might have thought right-wing thinkers would have been sad when ACE decided not long ago to drop this passage—but Mark Looy, chief communications officer for “Answers in Genesis,” actually agreed with the publisher’s decision.
“There are just so many of these legends, like the dragon mentioned in Beowulf, the numerous accounts of St. George and the dragon, and so on, that they can’t be dismissed,” Looy told reporters for the Christian Post.
“However, because the Loch Ness monster is a questionable example to use, and also because the claim has become such a distraction, we agree that it is wise to delete Nessie’s reference from a textbook that lists possible living monsters.”
(We are thinking here: maybe they should insert Sasquatch instead.)
In any case, Ham’s theory eliminates many perplexing questions in science—and even history—all in one Book of Genesis swoop. What happened to Neanderthals in Europe, for example, 40,000 years ago? Scientists have struggled to explain their extinction. Now we know. Nothing happened. They weren’t even there. The fossil record is all screwed up. Neanderthals were stomped on by dinosaurs sometime in the last 6,000 years.
Kind of like Jurassic Park—only worse.
Suddenly, the past becomes clear. How did humankind first reach the Americas 25,000 years ago? Science is wrong again. Okay, maybe the first inhabitants of the New World did cross a land bridge over the Bering Strait—but no ice age 25,000 years ago was involved. Man did not yet exist. Mastodons did not yet exist. Sabertooth Tigers did not yet exist. All would be created 19,000 years later and all would hitch a ride on Noah’s Ark.
Without a doubt, hunting must have been good 6,000 years ago. Spear-chucking folk would head out of their caves to bring back the bacon, so to speak. Hmm, what do we feel like eating tonight, buffalo steaks or barbequed Brontosaurus ribs?
Now we know that even the Weather Channel is in on the plot to trick the kids. You want proof? Like scientific proof?
How about this headline from their website today: “Climate Changing at Fastest Pace Since the Age of the Dinosaurs.” According to a report by two Stanford climatologists the planet is warming at a faster pace than at any time since the extinction of the dinosaurs 65 million years ago:
“Over the next century, the pace of climate change is expected to continue to pick up speed, the report warns, which could lead to a rise in average annual temperatures of 5 to 6 Celsius degrees (about 9 to 11 Fahrenheit degrees) by 2100.”
You can click on a link and see pictures of retreating glaciers round the world. But this is just more scientific propaganda, like when the story mentions plants adapting at the end of the last Ice Age, 20,000 years ago.
This climate change crap is just some left-wing scheme to put the Big Oil companies out of business, and by the way, remember that all that oil was created in just the last 6,000 years, after God in His infinite wisdom decided to create plants.